DECISIONS OF THE HEART
BY: ANNIEO

Chapter Two
Secrets Reveled

  She slowly entered the building waving and speaking a greeting to the man sitting at the desk. She followed the sound of voices to a room in the back. And upon entering the dojo, her blue eyes quickly glanced around stopping at a boy with strawberry blond hair. She smiled as she noted the look of concentration on his face as he tried to master the move he was doing.

  “Just like his mother was at his age.” A voice said behind her.

  She chuckled softly to herself and turned her attention from her six year old son, “Hi Dad, How did he do today?”

  “He’s got your talent Shana, catches on quick, and that’s not because I’m his Grandfather either.” He joked as he gently hugged his daughter. “I might have to advance him to the next level sooner then we thought.”

  Shana smiled and returned her attention back to the class as she heard the instructor release the them.

  “MOM!” He yelled when he caught site of her standing at the side, and running into her open arms “Did you see? Did you see the new kick Uncle Brian taught us?”

  “Yes, and you did it perfectly Jarred. Now go grab your bag and say bye to your Uncles.” She watched him take off at a run and turned back to her father. “You still want us to come for dinner tonight?”

  “If you’re up to it, 6:00, if not we understand.” He glanced behind her quickly. “And you do as your Mom says.” He messed the boy’s hair.

  “I will Grandpa, “ Jarred answered as he left with his mother.

  “So how was school today?” She asked after they were on there way home.

  “Ok I guess.” He answered in a quiet voice.

  “Jarred? What happened?”

  “Nothing,” He glanced out the window watching the scenes as they went by.

  “Jarred, you were never good at lying, now what happened?”

  He sighed and faced his mother, “Tomorrow is the day that were supposed to bring our Dad’s to school with us. Every buddy’s Dad is coming.”

  Shana closed her eyes for as moment before speaking, “I know it’s hard Jarred, but maybe Uncle Sean or Uncle Frank can go with you. We can ask them tonight at dinner.” He just nodded but remained silent for the rest of the drive home.

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  Conrad Hauser sat half listening to the meeting that was going on. He fought to keep his mind on what the meeting was about but it kept wondering back to the letter that he had received that day. He never thought he would hear from her again, it had after all been almost seven years now, but when he had checked his mail that morning it was there. At first he thought of throwing it away without reading it, but instead he just sat it on his kitchen counter and went about his day. And now he found himself in a meeting that he should be paying attention to and he kept wondering back to the letter. His last days with her, the weekend at the cabin…

  “Sgt. Hauser, do you have anything to add?” Hawk asked

  Conrad quickly pulled himself back into the present. “Umm, no Sir, nothing to add.”

  “Very well, dismissed then.” The group made to rise and started to file out of the room. “Duke, a moment please.”

  “Sir?”

  “You’ve seemed distracted today, is there a problem?”

  “No Sir, just tired.”

  Hawk glanced quickly at Duke’s face and let out a sigh “Duke, you’re a good soldier but in the last few months your performance has been slipping. You’ve been short with the troops and I’m beginning to see things effected in your field performance also. Now we can either take care of the problem now or you can take some time off till you get it solved.”

  “Yes Sir. Am I dismissed?” Duke asked his eyes flashing with his anger.

  “Dismissed.”

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Atlanta Georgia three days earlier………

  “Dad, were here.” Shana called as she pulled the door open.

  “Shana, were in the dinning room.” She and Jarred made their way through the house to the dinning room to be greeted by her father, three brothers and their wives. “Hey you two pull you a chair and dig in.”

  After Dinner…….

  “Mom,” Jarred said looking at his mother. “Can I ask now?”

  “Sure, go ahead.” She said as she paused from clearing the table.

  Jarred quietly made his way to the den where his Uncles and Grandfather were sitting watching TV. “Uncle Sean, can I ask you something?”

  “Sure, what’s up?”

  “Tomorrow is fathers day at school and I was wondering if you would go with me?”

  “Well Jarred I would love to, but I have a meeting tomorrow and have to go to Chicago.”

  “Uncle Frank?” He asked turning to his other uncle.

  “Wish I could buddy, but I have to go to Sam’s class tomorrow.”

  “That’s Ok,” He turned and went out into the back yard just as Shana entered the room.

  “Jarred?” He didn’t respond “What happened?” She asked her brothers.

  “They had to tell him no about tomorrow.” Her father answered. “I think he took it harder then he let on.”

  Shana let out a soft sigh “I guess I’ll go talk to him.”

  “No, let me.” Her father said as he rose from his chair and headed into the backyard. He spotted his grandson sitting on the branch of the large oak tree that grew right at the edge of the yard. “Jarred,” He said quietly “Want to talk about it?”

  “No,” He answered softly

  “Ok, I’ll just go back in the house then.” Patrick turned to leave

  “Why don’t I have a Dad?” Jarred asked, Patrick turned back around and noticed the signs of tears in Jarred’s blue eyes.

  “Why don’t you come out of that tree and will go sit over on the swing and talk.” He reached up and Jarred leaned down into his Grandfathers arms. “You do have a father you know.”

  “I’ve never seen him, and Mom only cries when I ask about it” Jarred said as they both took a seat on the swing. “I just want to have a Dad like the other kids do.” He said wiping away his tears on the sleeve pf his shirt...

  “I know Jarred and your Mom’s trying to fix things for you. It’s just that it’s not an easy thing to do.”

  “Do you know my Dad?” Jarred asked his blue eyes begging for an answer.

  “Yes, and he is a good man with a good heart.”

  “Do you think he would… he would like me?”

  “I don’t have to think I know he would. Now about tomorrow, I don’t have any plans and Brian can take over my class for the day. So how would you like your old Grandpa to come with you?”

  Jarred’s eyes lit up and a smile quickly spread across his face,. “Really? You’d really come?”

  “Wouldn’t miss it, I’ll pick you up in the morning.”

  “Wow!” He jumped off the swing and headed to the house, “Wait till I tell Mom.”

  “Tell me what?” Shana asked as she walked out onto the deck

  “Grandpa is going to come with me tomorrow.”

  Shana glanced at her Father a thankful smile showing across her face. “Why don’t you go see your cousins for a little. I need to talk to your Grandfather alone.” She watched him as he reentered the house and then turned back to her father.

  “Shana,”

  “Dad, please don’t start again. I’ll tell him when I can.”

  “It’s been almost seven years now, I think you need to tell him. Jarred is starting to ask questions and he deserves answers.”

  She reached up and fiddled with the locket she wore around her neck. “I know, I just don’t know how to. What if he hates me for what I did? What if he doesn’t want anything to do with Jarred? What if…..”

  Her father placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, “You can’t answer the questions on your own Shana, and you won’t know till you ask. Jarred needs to know his Father and you need to come to terms with Conrad as well.” He wiped away a tear that had escaped his daughter’s eye.

  “Can you keep Jarred for a few days? There’s something I need to do.” She asked when she finally spoke.

  “Go, go and make it right. Take as long as you need Jarred will be in good hands here.”

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  He returned home that night, his mind turning back to the conversation with Hawk earlier that day. “Maybe I do need some time off.” He said to himself. His eyes spotted the envelope sitting on the counter and he slowly picked it up and tore it open. Inside was a short note.

  Conrad,

  I will be arriving in town for a few days and would like to talk, that is if you are willing to. I will arrive on the 15th of this month and be staying till the 17th. Please I would like to try and fix the biggest mistake I ever made in my life, and that was leaving you. If you don’t want to talk I will understand. I will be staying at the North point Inn.

  Shana

  He sat there and reread the letter several more times before placing it back in the envelope. He felt an emotion stirring in him that he had not felt since the day she left, glancing at the clock he noted the time and quickly grabbed his jacket went to see the one person that still owned him heart and soul.

*********************************

  She paced the floor, running the lines that she would say to him when…. No if he came to see her. She found herself feeling more nervous then she ever had in her life. She jumped as a knock at the door startled her. She slowly walked to and opened the door. And set eyes on the one face that she had long to see for the last seven years. Tears began to well up in her eyes and she found that she couldn’t say a word, all she could do was loose herself in the ocean blue eyes that stared back at her.

  She was as beautiful as he remembered, not one aspect of her had changed. Her eyes still sparkled with a humor and an intelligence that no one could match. Her skin was like porcelain,. He longed to reach out and take her into his arms, to wipe away the tears shining in her eyes, but something in him made him hold back, something that still wanted to hate her for hurting him. She slowly moved aside allowing him to enter the room. They stood there in silence, each waiting for the other to start.

  “I guess you got my letter.” Shana said to break the silence finally. “Would you like something to drink?”

  “No, thanks.” He answered, “Shana…..”

  “Conrad…” They spoke at the same time. “You first” She said

  “Ok,” He sat on the bed facing her, “Do you know how much you hurt me when you left? No explanation, no good-bye, just a note and a lot of questions in my head. I hated you for that, hated you for the longest time, but now just to see you again…”

  “I swear I never meant to hurt you,” She started as she sat next to him taking his hand in hers. “When I did it, I felt it was the only option left for me at the time. I guess the easiest way to explain things is to start at the beginning.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “I made a mistake,, and I didn’t want you to pay for it with me.”

  “Shana..”

  “Please, let me explain. That weekend at the cabin was the happiest of my life, but it was also the worst. A few weeks after we got back we had our physicals, I had been feeling more tired then usual and a bit of nausea, I honestly didn’t suspect anything, until the blood work came back and Hawk wanted to see me.” Conrad looked at her a silent question in his eyes. Shana reached into her bag and pulled out a photo. “They didn’t leave me a choice, if I had stayed you would have been discharged along with me, I couldn’t let that happen to you. So I left and ran home, I tried to write and call you more then once in the first year and as time went by it got harder and harder to do it.” She held out the photo to him. “He’s going to be seven on the 23rd.”

  Conrad slowly took the photo from her hand and stared at the boy in it. He stood a familiar smile on his face, his strawberry blond hair blowing in the wind, his ocean blue eyes sparkling with humor and full of life. His Mother stood beside him a smile on her face her red hair hanging loose also blowing in the wind, her eyes the only part of her revealing the sadness she felt as she looked at her son. He continued to stare at the photo his words catching in his throat before he could speak them.

  Shana waited for his reaction silently, her stomach tied in knots. “His name is Jarred Sean… Jarred Sean Hauser.” Conrad glanced up from the photo and locked his eyes onto hers. “I thought you would like him named after your father.” She sat waiting

  “Why? Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked when he finally found his voice.

  “I didn’t know how, I didn’t want you to give up everything for a mistake I made.”

  “Why are you telling me now?”

  She looked deep into his eyes “Because he needs a father and you deserve to have a chance to be one. I’ll understand if you don’t want to, this is sudden and I know you didn’t want kids yet. I excepted that fact, but it happened and I thought that maybe……” She turned away from him

  “Shana,” He took her hand in his. “I think it’s time I meet my son.” She glanced back her tears flowing freely now. He gently wiped them away and placed a hand on her cheek, “I never stopped loving you, you know.”

  She pulled him to her, “Neither did I.”

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Continued in Chapter Three!
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