DON'T MESS WITH THE NAVY
BY: THE BARD

Part Four
Battle Of The Berets

    “FALCON AND DIALTONE!”

    “Sir!” The two soldiers jumped at the sound of Beachhead’s voice, startled out of their conversation.

    “Is there something you two yahoos would like to share with the rest of the Joes?” the ranger stood with his arms crossed in the middle of the field, tilting his head to indicate the thirty or so soldiers surrounding him, all dressed in sweats and tee shirts, enjoying the warmth of the midday sun.

    “No…nno sir.” Dial tone stuttered.

    “Are you sure? It seemed pretty important.”

    “Not really sir,”

    “Not really…NOT REALLY…and yet you chose to interrupt me and disrupt this training session for something no one really needs to know about.”

    Falcon flashed his winning smile, “Unless they want to know of my progress with a certain…”

    “SHUT UP FALCON! Just for that you are going to be first up…now where was I? Oh yeah…quarterstaffs.”

    “Ooo…time to get medieval on your ass, Bazooka” Alpine laughed as he clunked the big man on the head with the large stick he was holding.

    “That’s enough goat-boy! Unless you want to be scrubbing the latrines with a toothbrush for the rest of the week!!!!” Beachhead barked and the mountaineer settled down immediately, “Honestly…insubordinate troops, parrots setting off the perimeter alarm! It’s a wonder COBRA hasn’t overrun our sorry butts by now!”

    He sighed and shook his head.

    “Quick Kick…you want to explain what we are doing today?”

    “Okalee Dokalee Rangerino,” The handsome Asian man stood up, mimicking the popular Simpson’s character with ease before addressing the crowd in a more professional tone.

    “We are going to delve do something a little different this afternoon…” he bent to pick up a staff from the rack and twirled it expertly while he continued to speak.

    “This is a weapon whose use predates written history. As a combat form, the use of the quarterstaff requires coordination of eye, hand and body and mind.”

    “This is an extremely versatile weapon, it can be used as freely as a soldier wishes. When used to strike or hit it becomes a sword, when used to thrust it becomes a spear. Strikes and thrusts can be from either side of the body.” As he spoke he went through all the movements described with grace and skill. ”This makes it very difficult for any opponent to respond quickly to attacks as it can change easily from side to side, and from thrust to strike without pause…”

    “Yeah…” Gung Ho piped up from the audience, “…all fine and good until a Viper comes up behind you with an uzzi.”

    “Says the Cajun who got his ass kicked by Lady Jaye last week.” Quick Kick smiled as the rest of the Joes broke into laughter. “You had an M-16 and she had one of her javelins if I remember correctly…”

    “Oh…man…I forgot about that!” the marine grinned. “Touche…”

    “So…as you can see…these babies, when used correctly, pack quite a wallop. Which is why we are going to be using protective padding on the…”

    Quick Kick’s voice faded to the back of Shipwreck’s consciousness as Falcon came to sit next to him, Scarlett and Cover Girl.

    “Ladies…” He smiled in greeting, winking at the sailor as he lowered himself to the ground.

    “Falcon. What a surprise…” Cover Girl commented sarcastically, “…haven’t seen you around the woman’s locker room in a while.”

    “Cover Girl…I’m insulted! Do you think I would be so crass as to peep in on my sisters-in-arms?”

    “So it wasn’t your beret we saw in the window?” Scarlett narrowed her eyes in mock disbelief; “I guess it was Flint then…”

    “Hey…you never know? Our third in command seems to have some major issues lately…” Falcon laughed quietly so as not to interrupt the class, “…I thought you ladies should be aware that you are in for a disappointment.”

    “Really? How so?”

    “I am currently ‘involved’ with another woman.”

    Shipwreck smirked and elbowed Torpedo…shifting his head to indicate Flint, who was standing only a few meters away. Although he looked to be paying close attention to the demonstration, the slight narrowing of his eyes indicated that his interest was on the little scene taking place right next to them.

    “Another woman?” Cover Girl’s hand flew to her forehead in a dramatic gesture, “I’m crushed!”

    “Very funny, Courtney…laugh now…but I swear you girls don’t know what you’re missing!”

    “I think we have some idea…” Scarlett muttered under her breath, trying not to laugh. “…so who is the lucky girl? Is it someone we know?”

    “In fact it is…its Lady Jaye…”

    “WHAT!” Both Cover Girl and Scarlett yelled in unison, forgetting where they were. The entire class stopped and turned to see what was going on.

    “Are you nuts…” Scarlett hissed as she watched Flint’s face as he walked towards them, “…you can’t be seriously considering…”

    “Ah…Red…you’re just jealous. The girl wants me! And once she has had a tasted the Falcon she will never want another… “

    “Falcon…I really think you should…” Cover Girl was pulling on his tee shirt sleeve, trying to get his attention. Flint was practically on top of them.

    “…Mark my words. I will have her in bed before the week is out…”

    “GET UP FALCON!” His name came out a threatening growl from Flint’s mouth. Falcon rose …expecting to be chided for interrupting class again.

    “I’m sorry Flint. I will be quiet this time, I promise. You know what its like…bragging about the ladies and all…” The lieutenant grew confused as Flint’s face clouded over.

    “Oh come on, Duke tells me you were quite the gigolo in your youth.”

    “In my youth…” Flint hissed, but Falcon continued to ignore the warning signs.

    “…and Lady Jaye is hot. I mean you work with her…can you imagine what she is like in…”

    “ENOUGH!”

    “What? What did I say?”

    Flint merely threw a quarterstaff at him, which he caught easily.

    “YOU…in the field…NOW!”

    Shipwreck was grinning wildly as the beret clad Joes made their way to the center of the clearing. The rest of the team were all on their feet surrounding them, cheering as the two men removed their shirts and took up their sparring positions. Quick Kick was yelling something about padding, but was completely ignored as the two soldiers began to circle each other.

    “How come I have a strong suspicion you have a lot to do with this Shipwreck?” Scarlett turned to the old sailor, who was busy checking his watch as he and the other squids gathered to cheer Flint on.

    “Moi?” Shipwreck clutched his heart, “You wound me, madame!”

    “Don’t give me that innocent look Sailor…you have had it in for the guy since he came through the gates. Sure he’s a pain in the ass but …”

    “Oh…my…god…” Covergirl sighed.

    “What?” Red turned her head and froze, her mouth dropping open at the sight before her.

    Flint and Falcon stood face to face in the grass and sun, clad only in their grey army sweatpants and dog tags.

    “mmmmm….” Cover Girl licked her lips “Nice…”

    Flint looked every part the warrior as he stood in the sunlight. Scars crisscrossed his hard, muscular body…thin white lines against his sun- browned skin…a testament to battles fought and won. He carried himself in a way that suggested readiness…just a fraction of a second away from swift reaction. He had the look of someone who had seen and weathered a great deal and understood that loss of control was a soldier’s worst enemy. There was an enormous calm in his face as he watched his opponent prepare himself…one that belied the storm in his blue eyes.

    Falcon, on the other hand…presented quite the contrast. His young, muscular body perfect…smooth, his body strong. His eyes sparkled with confidence, his face sported an easy smile. He shifted his weight from foot to foot in anticipation of what was to come, self-assured and certain of his abilities and skill. He moved with the grace and subtleness of youth, with an ease that indicated that his confidence was not misplaced.

    “Oh boy…” Scarlett sighed, her eyes locked on the two men, “Lady Jaye is going to be one satisfied woman when she finally gets Flint to her…”

    “Hey! Enough of that!” Wet Suit exclaimed, “And you guys complain that we are sexist…listen to yourselves! You two are practically drooling…”

    He was interrupted by a loud crack as Flint and Falcon engaged in battle. They thrust and parried with amazing speed, stopping to circle each other every so often in order to gage each other’s strengths and weaknesses.

    On and on it went, each fighter getting in some substantial hits, both standing strong, neither backing down. Around them, the Joes were screaming and cheering, egging them on.

    “Falcon’s not bad…” Wetsuit commented as the young officer managed to land a sharp blow on Flint’s arm.

    “Flint’s just toying with him.” Shipwreck commented, “ I can tell he’s holding back.”

    “He won’t land the killing blow,” Roadblock shook his head, “He won’t hurt his best friend’s bro…”

    “Oh man…he isn’t going to back out now!” Torpedo moaned as Ace came up next to him.

    “Ah…I smell victory in the air.” Ace flashed his winning fly-boy smile, “I would like my winnings in small bills please.”

    “Don’t count Navy out just yet.” Shipwreck grinned, “I think our trump card just arrived.”

    “What the hell is going on here?” Lady Jaye ran up to where they were all standing, glaring at the two men in the ring…at one of them in particular. “What are those two goofballs doing? Is that blood?”

    “I see you’ve been busy, Jaye.“ Cover Girl smiled and patted her fellow female Joe on the shoulder, “I honestly didn’t think you had it in you.”

    “Didn’t think I had ‘what’ in me? What are you talking about?”

    “Stringing two men along…”

    “What?!”

    “Those two goofballs, as you so aptly described them… “Scarlett sighed, “…are up there fighting over you.”

    “WHAT!!!!”

    At the sound of her voice, Falcon turned and smiled in her direction.

    “Hey there lover, come to cheer me on?”

    “LOVER?! THAT DOES IT!!!!” Flint roared.

    Whatever restraint Flint had shown in the beginning was gone. He poured it on, pushing the other Joe further and further back…forcing him on to the defensive…moving the staff with speed and skill that the inexperienced lieutenant couldn’t hope to match.

    The crowd went wild. Over the din, Flint’s voice could be heard as he growled between blows.

    “You will…treat your elders…with the respect they have earned!” He landed a jab on Falcon’s side.

    “You…will…learn…to respect…the female members…of this team!” Flint swung around and slammed the staff into his opponents arm.

    “And most of all…” he paused as he watched the young man stagger in front of him.

    “HANDS!”

    He blocked Falcon’s retaliatory attack easily….

    “OFF!”

    …swinging his weapon around in a flash, knocking the man’s staff out of his hands.

    “MY!”

    Then, in one fluid movement, he knocked the young officer off his feet…

    “GIRL!”

    …and brought the quaterstaff around, stopping it suddenly…the butt mere inches from Falcon’s throat.

    “Your…gulp…girl?” Falcon’s moaned as he struggled to catch his breath, having had it knocked out of him when he fell.

    “YOUR GIRL?!” Lady Jaye yelled. Flint flinched, his eyes growing wide with fear.

    “Go Navy, Go Navy, Go Navy…” The squids were chanting and dancing in the background as they celebrated their win.

    “Ummm guys…” Dialtone spoke, his quiet voice barely breaking through the raucous laughter.

    “Well…Ace…” Wetsuit grabbed the sullen pilot by the shoulder, “I think I would like my winnings in small bills.”

    “Guys…” the communications expert tried again…this time a little louder.

    “So what do you say my fellow sailors…a night on the town is in order I think…” Shipwreck was grinning wildly, “Drinking, dancing, pretty girls…”

    “GUYS!” Dialtone yelled at the top of his lungs, and this time the others turned to him.

    “You might want to look at this before you start celebrating.” He handed them a print out.

    “What are you going on about, Spock…” Shipwreck grabbed the sheet and began to read it, his eyes growing wide as he did, “I don’t fucking believe it!”

    “What? What?” Torpedo crushed in next to him, straining to see what had the old sailor glowering.

    “Oh my god, “ Ace laughed, “This is just too good…”

    “Is that even legal?” Wetsuit asked.

    “This is a betting pool, stupid.” Shipwreck snapped, “Nothing about it is legal…”

    “Hey, don’t take this out on me!”

    “God…can this possibly get any worse!?”

    “WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON OUT HERE!”

    “Ummm…I think you just got the answer to that question squid.”

    In the distance, a very angry General Hawk was making his way across the grounds towards them, an equally pissed Duke in tow.

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Continued in Part Five!
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