DON'T MESS WITH THE NAVY
BY: THE BARD
Part One
“Out of the way…clear out of the way!” Dialtone shouted as he
and Mainframe burst into the rec room, bumping into Tripwire in the process and
causing him to drop the pile of magazines he was carrying.
“Remote….GIVE
ME THE REMOTE!”
“Man, Dialtone…for someone who can’t string two words
together without stuttering you certainly find your voice every Saturday at this
time…” Alpine grinned as he held the remote just out of his reach.
“Shut
up and give it to me Alpine…” Mainframe growled as he tried to grab it but
Alpine was too fast.
“Just give him it to him,” Low Light looked up from
his place at the other end of the couch and snatched the remote in one fluid
motion, throwing it to Dial Tone who caught it easily.
“You are such a
kill joy…” Alpine harrumphed as he moved over to make room on the couch for the
two Joes, who were busy flipping the channels in a mad attempt to find their
show.
“Space…the final frontier…these are the voyages of the
starship…”
“Oh god…not again!” Shipwreck moaned as he came through the
door, “Isn’t there something else we can watch? We need another television. If
it isn’t these two and the bloody Klingons, its Zooks and the Nintendo or
Scarlett and those damn soaps! I never get to watch anything…”
“That’s a
good thing…” Ace looked up from the pool table, “…last time you had control we
all ended up spending the night in the brig.”
“I TOLD you I had no idea
how that video got in there.” Shipwreck grabbed a pool cue and chalked it up,
“…I can’t understand why Duke was so upset! ‘Debbie Does Dallas’ is considered a
classic.”
“Its offensive to women…” Bazooka mumbled, not bothering to
look up from his game boy…
“Yeah…right…whatever…” Shipwreck leaned over
the table “5 ball, corner pocket. Speaking of offensive to women, have you guys
met Lieutenant Falcon?”
“Oh yeah…” Gung Ho whistled from behind his
newspaper, “…met him yesterday. A real piece of work.”
“Been chasing tail
since he arrived two weeks ago…” Alpine muttered. “Dial Tone, turn it down. At
this rate they can hear ‘Picard’ all the way down in ops. God, I’ll never
understand this show…”
“Well…the cocky bastard has been driving me nuts.
Duke’s brother or no…”
“My ears are burning!” Falcon entered the room
with Roadblock trailing behind, “You’re just jealous that I have such a magical
touch with the opposite sex. What can I say, squidly…it’s a
gift.”
“You’re just a kid, what can you possibly know about women?”
Shipwreck sneered and then swore as he missed his shot. Ace smiled, sensing
victory near.
“Ask Cover Girl…”
“You son of a bi….” Before
Shipwreck could reply, Lady Jaye poked her head into the room and
smiled.
“Don’t tell me it’s Star Trek night already? Dial Tone…I need you
in ops right after you finish here.”
“Sure…yeah yeah…” Dial Tone waved
her off, concentrating completely on the TV. Jaye frowned and shook her
head.
“What is it with that show?” she wondered aloud, turning to
leave.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” Falcon was up, flashing her
one of his winning smiles.
She paused and stared at him for a moment. She
had not yet met the new guy, having been away on a mission when he arrived. He
was nothing if not good looking…Eye Candy.
“Mmmm…no. But thanks for
offering.”
With that she was gone, leaving Falcon staring at her
retreating form, his eyes alight.
“Who is THAT? She is HOT.”
Low
Light looked up from the TV. “That’s Lady Jaye, and I wouldn’t go there if I
…”
“She’s out of your league Falcon.” Shipwreck interrupted Low Light
before he could finish his sentence. “You wouldn’t have a
chance.”
“Really? I think not.” Falcon looked over at the sailor and
grinned. “In fact, I saw the way she looked at me. She wants me.”
“Ummm…I
really think…” Ace began, but again Shipwreck interrupted, an evil glint in his
eyes.
“Well, she does have a thing for men in berets…”
“Is she
single?” Falcon asked, adjusting his hat.
“Yes.” Shipwreck replied
quickly.
At his words all the Joes in the room stopped what they were
doing and stared at the sailor in shock. Even Dial Tone and Mainframe had turned
from the television and were staring open mouthed at the two Joes near the pool
table.
“Really…” Falcon grinned and stared out at the hallway down which
Lady Jaye had disappeared.
“Forget it. Even your so called ‘magic touch’
wouldn’t work on her.”
“Watch and learn old man…” And with that he was
gone.
“Shipwreck!” Ace grabbed him by the arm, “ARE YOU INSANE!? Do you
realize what you just did?”
“I didn’t do anything, fly boy. I just told
him the truth. He doesn’t stand a chance, and technically, she IS still
single…”
“Technically…” Low Light muttered, “…you forgot to mention
Flint.”
“Details, details…” Shipwreck laughed and chalked his cue before
leaning over the table.
“You realize, of course, when Flint finds out he
is going to rip the guy another ass hole.” Alpine shook his head in
astonishment.
“If he moves on Jaye, my man Flint is going to make him
pay.” Roadblock rhymed, nodding his agreement.
“Call it a friendly
‘initiation’ to the Joe team.” Shipwreck sunk the eight ball in one clean
shot.
“Friendly?” Gung Ho mumbled, “Flint might be shy around Jaye
herself, but he certainly ain’t when it comes to defending what he sees as his.
I give Falcon 2 days before he is in traction.”
“Less than that,”
Mainframe stood up, “I say 24 hours.”
At that, the Joes in the room all
lapsed into an intense silence. They stared at each other, each lost in their
own thoughts, before all rushing forward at once.
“Ten bucks on 24 hours
before he is scrubbing the latrines!”
“20 dollars on
48!!!!!”
“Forget it, bub…I bet it all on 5 hours. And not in the Latrine,
in the infirmary!”
Shipwreck merely stood the side, smiling to himself.
Those Army brats never learn…old man or no…you just don’t mess with
Navy.
______________________________________________________
Continued in Part Two!
Back to The Bard's Fics!
Back to Authors Page!