November 12th,

What a magical evening!

I am sitting up in bed in my hotel room, waiting for Flint to get out of the shower. We have to meet Hawk and Duke for lunch in an hour to go over the information we managed to gather at the White House, but I can’t seem to get myself out of bed. I am just drained. We managed to make it back to the hotel at 3AM, and Dash didn’t let me get to sleep until 4! Combined with jet lag and the fact that I have hardly slept in three days, you can imagine the state I am in.

…but it was SOOOOO worth it. Operation Cinderella was a resounding success!

I managed to make my flight and check into the hotel with just enough time to spare to get changed and relax before having to meet the boys at the entrance to the White House.

It’s been a long time since I have had to dress up for a formal affair such as this. When I was still officially a ‘Hart’ it seemed like I was at a party every second weekend, but once I joined the Joes I had no time for fundraisers and soirees, and to tell you the truth, no real desire to go either. The people who usually attended were just so stuck up and fake, and I was sick to death of the little power games that took place between the ‘established’ families.

My life has changed. Those affairs are a thing of the past. I am a different person now. So much so that when I looked in the mirror after I had finished getting ready, it was like a stranger was staring back at me.

A beautiful stranger.

I still can’t believe the transformation. My hair was done up in an elegant twist and clip at the back of my head, the highlights having lightened it up just enough to give life to the color without overdoing it. My dress was a lovely black evening gown from Chanel that fell to my ankles. It clung to my body in all the right places, in fact the hard muscle and soft contours of my body were accentuated perfectly. Last time I wore a dress like this I was a skinny bony mess…like one of those waif super models…

What a difference!

My feet were in the most lovely, feminine evening sandals…the straps thin and elegant…the heel just high enough to add a touch of finesse. Around my neck was a gorgeous diamond necklace with matching bracelet and earrings.

A little makeup and some of my favorite ‘Yves St Laurent’ perfume, and the picture was complete.

As my mother always says…simple is elegant. Don’t over do…let your natural beauty shine. For all her foibles, she knows what she is talking about.

Wow! Eat your heart out, Cover Girl!

If I was shocked and pleased by the change in my appearance, you can imagine the look of complete astonishment that greeted me as I gracefully made my way out of the car and up the red carpet with the all the poise and polish of an ex-debutant and actress.

The vehicle in question was a shining black Rolls Royce Silver Spur custom limousine. Only 300 of this particular model were made, and the Harts owned two of them. The license plate in the front sported a silver Heraldic Stag ‘rampant’ on a solid black background, our family crest. The back plates said simply HART1. The interior was all clean tan leather and wood panel trim.

As the full liveried chauffeur emerged and opened the door, I breathed a silent thank you to my grandmother for coming through. We might not see eye to eye on most issues, but when it came to making a grand impression…well, she and I are willing co-conspirators.

Duke was the first to notice me, freezing in place and dropping his hat in the process. Hawk went to chide him for messing up his uniform when he realized what had caught his eye. I think that is the first time I ever saw the General gawk. His wife Susan whacked him on the back of the head to snap him out of it.

Mind you…all of that was happening in the corner of my eye, at the edge of my consciousness…as my attention at that point was focused on the tall, dark haired man standing a little to the side. He was dressed impeccably, his dress uniform tailored beautifully to his body, his hat held under his arm. He looked so handsome… I had never seen him in his ‘Dress Blues’…if I had I probably would have jumped him. As it was all the women were eyeing him intently.

I felt a twinge of jealousy but I needn’t have worried. From the minute he saw me his eyes never wavered. In fact, they were practically bulging out of his head. Seeing the look of complete surprise, longing, confusion, desire, incredulity, shock that came across his face was worth every minute of effort, every dollar spent, every second arguing with my mother.

When I finally reached him our eyes locked and I saw his mouth move, but no sound was coming out.

“Well, Lady Jaye…I think we have all just witnessed a historic event,” Duke said as he came up behind me, “Dashiell Faireborn at a loss for words.”

I don’t think Flint even heard him. He was still struggling to get the words out of his mouth.

“Allie?” He squeaked…my name coming out soft and strangled…Oh yes…revenge is sweet.

“Dashiell, sweetheart…” I said in my best Hart tone, “if you are going to be eye-candy tonight you had better stop opening and closing your mouth like a fish. It certainly detracts from an otherwise seamless package.”

I smiled at him calmly and turned to the others. Duke had yet another tall redhead with him, with a spark of wit in her green eyes. Thank God…this one has a brain it seems. That last girl was dumb as a post…gorgeous…but she would get lost in a closet. Where does he find these women?

He has a thing for long red hair. You know, I bet you anything if Snakes wasn’t around he would be after Shana for sure. I have seen the way he looks at her sometimes, it is certainly not the look of a commanding officer assessing one of his soldiers.

Hmmmm….

“Jaye…for Christ’s sake…you look like…well….really…ummm…” Hawk ran his hand through his blond hair as he shook his head in wonder, “…hell, you could have taken a cab you know…”

“A Hart never takes a cab, sir. You asked for a Hart this assignment, and you got one.” I smiled as I moved towards him, whispering to the driver that I would call him on when I was ready to leave. He nodded his head in acknowledgement and with a quick m’Lady before turning back to the limo.

Flint continued to stare at me in silence as we made our way into the foyer where cocktails were presently being served, his face unreadable. Other than croaking out my name he had yet to say two words, which was very unusual for him. Instead…he seemed a bit lost, stumbling along beside me…his eyes locked on me in a look of complete amazement…so much so that he nearly plowed into a pillar.

I wanted to burst out laughing, but I had put on my ‘socialite’ mask and merely looked back at him and smiled pleasantly as if this was the most normal thing in the world for me.

Which it had been…once upon a time.

I grabbed a glass of Chablis from one of the waiters as Hawk went over rules for the night before we spilt up to begin our ‘mission’. Tonight we were not Joes, we were here to enjoy the party. No code names, no reference to our top secret team…just mingle and have a good time.

And my mind focused on just that as we passed through the security checkpoint and into the grand East Room.

The large area is decorated in a late 18th-century classical style. An oak floor of Fontainebleau parquetry, the bronze electric-light standards, upholstered benches, and three Bohemian cut-glass chandeliers are all kept in impeccable condition. The walls themselves are paneled in wood with classical fluted pilasters and relief insets, all painted white, while delicate plaster decoration adorn the ceiling.

In the center of the room a Steinway grand piano with gilt American eagle stands under a gorgeous full length portrait of George Washington, and around it are seated the musicians of the Washington Chamber Orchestra.

Opulent hardly describes it.

The room was decorated tastefully in patriotic colors. Here and there senators and generals, politicians and lobbyists moved around the room dressed to the nines, sipping on their drinks and conversing while being serenaded by the sounds of Vivaldi in the background.

Flint was hanging back again, scanning the room quickly as if assessing how best to approach the enemy on a battlefield. I noted several undercover CIA agents positioned at strategic intervals around the room. With the President in attendance, one would expect nothing less…but that was not what was catching Flint’s eye.

I followed his gaze and honed in on several of the top brass milling about with their wives in tow. Then I knew why he was so quiet…

Of course there were many high-ranking generals in attendance, but Dash was eyeing a few in particular…including General Malthus (who was out of prison, it seemed), General Crowther and General Hollingsworth…not the types you want to cross, not unless you feel like going head to head with the Jugglers.

After that fiasco with the Cobra Civil War where most of us ended up getting arrested and poor Hawk was confined to a psychiatric ward, we had learned the extent of their control. Then there was Crowther’s attempt at ‘head games’ with Snakes and Storm Shadow. The idea of coming under the eye of the top secret committee of generals that held the reigns of power in the Pentagon…and some say the oval office itself…was unappealing to say the least.

In the words of William Proxmire, “Power exercised in secret, especially under the cloak of national security, is doubly dangerous."

Which led me to wonder why Hawk wanted me here at all. As I mentioned before we were to gather as much information as we could without drawing too much attention to ourselves. It is fairly certain that the Jugglers were aware of my family connections. The Harts are about as powerful in the world of Wall Street as they were in the department of defense, and there was no way that my presence at this gala would go unnoticed.

Economic power meant political clout on Capitol Hill as well.

So if it was not my ‘covert’ information gathering and analysis skills that Hawk needed tonight, than there was only one other possible answer…

“Intelligence is not all that important in the exercise of power, and is often, in point of fact, useless.” Dashiell whispered the quote and hit the nail right on the head. It irked me that he clued in so quickly…it irked me more that he had yet to say anything about how I looked.

“Kissinger…” I replied with ease, “and I know what I am doing.”

“This is a dangerous game Hawk is playing.” His voice was low, anger vied with concern in his dark eyes, “He is using your family name to…”

“…as any good general uses his soldiers in the field…” I returned easily, turning to him and meeting his eye. “…and I intend to give him what he needs. I have played this game since I was old enough to talk. As much as I am loath to admit it I am a Hart. I am in my element here. Make no mistake, tonight is going to require as much cunning and skill as any battle. If you are not up to it…”

His eyes darkened at the implications of my words, but my eyes were locked with his and did not falter. Finally I saw his soften and he smiled.

“It’s easy to forget who you are…its too easy to loose sight of the woman behind the warrior.” He whispered.

I frowned in confusion when I felt his hand brush my cheek while his other took my hand.

“The fairest hand I ever touch’d. O Beauty, ‘til now I never knew thee.”

His voice, deep and sonorous, always stuck a chord within me. And of course, like an idiot…I melted…

“Dash…”

“Come, my Lady…” he offered me his arm, “…we have a job to do. And I for one plan on enjoying every minute of it…”

I smiled back at him and took his arm. And as we descended the staircase into the room below, I felt Dash straighten in his usual display of masculine pride. But this time it was different. This time it he was showing off the lady on his arm.

Me.

The rest of the evening was a blur. We mingled and socialized with as many people as we could manage. I was at my best, my mother would have been impressed by the skill and confidence I showed as I worked the room, Dash tagging along behind. In fact, for the first time since I have known him, he was content to let me lead the show without so much as a peep of protest.

Not that he was the eye-candy that I had labeled him a couple of days ago.

Far from it.

He had managed to reign in his ‘Flint’ arrogance, letting his quick wit and keen intelligence take hold. Hearing him speak was an experience, and it served to remind me once again why I had fallen in love with him.

I also couldn’t help but notice that he did not take his eyes off me for the whole evening, and I knew him well enough to tell from the look on his face that he was impressed if a little taken aback by the way I handled even the most powerful men on the hill.

Despite his admiration, I could also sense the ever-present worry…not that he would ever admit to that type of emotion. Yet I had learned to read the signs. The change in posture, the slight narrowing of his eyes, the way he stood closer to me as if his mere presence would ward of the danger that these men presented. This was especially apparent when I got close to the Jugglers…

Yet as my grandmother always told me, the game, once started, must be played out to the end. You cannot falter…you cannot show weakness. Remain calm, remain confident, give nothing away. Absorb everything and store it for use later. Even what seems to be the most trivial of tidbits might prove to be just what you need to turn the tide in your favor.

I repeated this to Dash as he held me in his arms while we made our way back to the hotel in the Rolls.

“Your grandmother sounds like she would make a great field commander…” he laughed softly as he kissed the top of my head.

“More like a dictator…”

Back to the party…where was I? Mingling, talking…DANCING. Oh how we danced. It was as if there was only the two of us and the music. After a lavish meal that would have put even Roadblock to shame, we were treated to some wonderful live music. It seems that the Presidential ‘clout’ extends itself into the entertainment industry, for the headliners included some big names.

But I think the thing I will remember most about the evening…the one scene that will stay with me, burned into my mind in stunning detail, for the rest of my days…happened in the presidential Rose Garden. I think I will relate the whole incident here…I want to write this down word for word.

I need to write this down.

It all started when I met up with my very good friend Melanie. Mel and I grew up together in the Vineyard…best friends from birth and all. We pretty much did everything together…that is until I joined the army. I was not surprised in the least to see her in attendance, as she was presently working as the Press Secretary to the current President.

In any case, we chatted and reminisced about old times, and when Dash came over to join us, she looked him up and down with her discerning eye, noting the uniform…and said the following.

“Nice Allie…I see your taste is still impeccable.” Dash winked at her in amusement, loving every minute of attention. As it was the next hour with Dash was damned near impossible…sigh.

Anyhow, after a bit Melanie paused and sighed.

“You are still in the military aren’t you?” I nodded, “When I saw you tonight I thought for sure you had come back into the fold. It was just a dare, Al…we never thought you would take it so seriously.”

“I like what I am doing…”

“I can see why.” She smiled wickedly and indicated Dash, who was busy chatting up some leggy blond in the shortest dress I have ever seen.

“Well…that’s part of it…” I frowned as I noticed the bimbo sidling closer to him. Damn he is such a flirt. I turned back to my friend, “But I really do love it. I never thought I would…”

She interrupted me. “I know Al. God knows you would never stay this long at something you hated. Remember the junior league?”

“Oh god…” I made a face, remembering the childhood trauma of it all, “My mother despaired at me EVER making a ‘debut’ into ‘society. And if I remember correctly, your mother blamed me for corrupting you.”

“She still does. Calls you ‘that Hart girl’.” She did a grand imitation of one of her mother’s tirade and we giggled like schoolgirls. Flint looked over at us with an expression of bewilderment etched across his face. I don’t think he has ever heard me giggle before.

“You know, Allie-Cat. We could us someone like you here. You are wasted where you are now. I can make some phone calls…not that it would be needed once they read your resume and see your last name…and your mother would be so happy she would probably but you back on the family accounts.”

“Mel…” I sighed, warning her with a look that this wasn’t something I wanted to talk about.

“Just think about it…promise me you will think about it.”

I did think about it. I thought about it every minute after I left her and went back out into the crowds. In fact…my thoughts began to overwhelm me after a while. So much so that I needed to escape. To be alone.

So I exited through the large French doors and out into the garden. It was a mild night given the time of year, but the area was still empty save the agents roaming the grounds.

I am not quite sure what I felt as I stood outside in the rose garden. Anger at my family friends and family for dismissing all that I have accomplished in the military, remorse for keeping the ‘dare thing’ a secret from Dash, guilt for knowing that there was a time in my life when I would have considered a man like Dashiell, a soldier, beneath me…or fear…fear that despite the fun we were having tonight that my relationship with him was still in the inevitable downward spiral.

Maybe Mel was right, maybe my mother was right…maybe it was time to grow up. It was time to take my place among the Harts. God knows I enjoyed playing the part tonight. I didn’t realize how much I missed the thrill of the game despite my complete intolerance of the snobbery that went with it.

…Didn’t it all pale in comparison to what I am doing now? Fighting for my country? Fighting for a cause?

But it is here…among these men and women…that the real game is played out. The Jugglers, the politicians, the Wall Street tycoons…they held the reigns. I was born to play this field. I was trained to dance with devil and come out on top…I could feel the alluring pull of ‘power’ that my mother’s side of the family held so close.

Who am I? I play so many parts…soldier, scholar, actress, socialite, Scot, American…so many roles. But which one is the real me. Have I become so accomplished an actress that I can’t even tell where the performance stops and the real me begins.

Maybe, for all my denials…I am more a Hart than anything.

I honestly felt like crying, but I would never do so in public. Instead I just stood there alone and watched the night sky in a desperate attempt to regain my composure.

Then IT happened.

“There you are…I have been looking all over for you!” His growl startled me but I did not turn around.

When I didn’t respond he continued in a softer tone…his voice full of concern.

“Hey…Allie…what’s wrong? Did someone hurt you? If they did they are in for a…”

I don’t know what it was…his quiet tone, his genuine worry…or my utter exhaustion…but when I felt his hand rest on my shoulder I just let go. I told him everything.

I told him about the dare…I told him how I came into the army, how useless I was in basic. How I just wanted to escape from my overbearing mother. I told him what my uncle had said, what Mel had offered. I spoke of the feelings that had come to a head tonight, how I sometimes I feel like I don’t belong on the team. How sometimes I really missed my old life.

As I spoke he listened quietly. Really listened. It was the first time in a long while that he had stopped talking long enough to truly hear what I had to say.

“You know, I can count on one hand how many times you have opened up to me.” He leaned against a pillar and watched me carefully.

“I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to burden you with my insecurities…It won’t happen again” I snapped, angry at myself for letting go and ready to leave until I felt his hand on my shoulder.

“No…I didn’t mean it that way…god…why is it I can never get it right with you?” He shook his head in frustration. “I meant that I like it when you do. It makes me feel like I really mean something to you. That you trust me…”

“Of course you mean something to me Dash…but you never seemed interested in my thoughts and feelings before.”

“Ah…well…can’t argue with that. I am a bit self-centered at times…”

“At times…” I teased.

“Jaye…” he warned, but his smile softened the impact of the tone. “Dare or no, you should be proud of what you have accomplished. You made the GIJOE team…you are the best of the best. Don’t let anyone tell you that it is meaningless. Don’t ever think that don’t belong. But tonight…” he paused…

“Tonight?” I began, but he cut me off.

“Tonight I saw the most beautiful woman I have ever met bring several of the most powerful men in the country to their knees with a glance and a well placed word.” He lowered his voice and looked away “Your friend is right…you are right…you DO belong here, Alison.”

“Dashiell…” Did he just call me beautiful? I remember thinking to myself…’how much has he had to drink?’…but then I saw the look in his eyes. The barriers were gone. They were down but good this time.

“I guess in the back of my mind I always knew you were out of my league.” He laughed softly, sadly “That one day, when all of this is over…when the Joes disband…that you would go back to your old life.”

“Do you think so little of me, Dashiell. After all we have gone through…” I turned away, not wanting him to see the look of anguish that crossed my face.

“No…Alison. I think the world of you.” I felt his warm breath against my neck. “I think so little of myself.”

I turned around sharply and looked at him in surprise. He laughed.

“Yeah…the secrets out eh? But then again…I think you more than anyone knew that all along. I am such a jerk sometimes, it’s a wonder that you put up with me.”

I smiled in amusement.

“I ask myself the same question…I never know from one minute to the next what’s going to come out of that mouth of yours.”

“Never a dull moment. I guess you bring out the worst in me sometimes…and the best as well.” He paused then, as if collecting his thoughts. “You always saw through me…even when I was acting like a fool. You stood by me despite the fact that I have done nothing to deserve it…”

“….and I think ‘I love you the more in that I believe you have liked me for my own sake and for nothing else’.”

At those last words, hearing the quote from Keats, I froze.

“What did you just say?” I whispered.

“You heard me…” he looked away, obviously uncomfortable. “Come on Jaye…its not like you didn’t know…”

“I didn’t. Love has no place in the military…remember? Keep it light…remember?”

“Well, I lied. Happy?” he growled. “It means nothing anyhow…this is where you belong.”

“Who are you to tell me where I belong?” I snarled, “All my life I have had people telling me what to do, how to think, where I should be…I will make my own choices thank you very much. And where I belong is with you, you stubborn fool.” He swung around sharply at my words but I did not pause. There were things that needed to be said.

It was time.

“You are what I want. You are all I have ever wanted…the power, the money, the influence…I walked away from it years ago. I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss it…that I sometimes wonder where my life would be now if I had just walked out of that coffee shop and told Jules to shove it. But the minute I do, I remember that had I not taken up his challenge...had I not accepted the dare…I would have missed out on some of the most fulfilling and wonderful experiences of my life….that I would never have met you. ”

I stopped then…realizing what I had just said. I looked up to see him with an amused grin on his face…he picked it up as well.

Insecurities be damned. I knew where I belonged. I knew it all along…

“Since when are you vying for Psych Out’s job?” I asked, my eyes narrow.

“Just call me Dashiell Freud.”

“Very funny…”

We stood in silence for what seemed like an eternity, neither of us wanting to acknowledge the feelings that had been brought out into the open. Finally, I spoke. I had to know.

“What you said before…” I said softly, nervously. There was fear in his eyes, but the barrier was still down.

“I meant it. ” He sighed, “You?”

“Yes…”

“You have to know it would never work.”

“How do you know that, Dashiell?” I asked calmly, “How can you say that knowing all we have been through? All the happiness and the hurt, all the ups and downs…through all the difficulty of maintaining a relationship in the military…on the JOE TEAM…we have stuck by each other. Do those five years mean nothing?”

“They mean everything. More than you could possibly imagine…” he made a cutting motion with his hand and continued, “but I know what happens next…”

“I am not Karen.” His eyes flashed then… anger at hearing her name, remembering her. Remembering Sierra Gordo. “I’m sorry…”

“No…don’t apologize.” He whispered, “You are right…you are not. I never compared you with her. There would have been no contest. I loved her, yes…but with you…its different. Its more…” he paused and then continued, “I feel more than I ever felt when I was with her and it terrifies me.”

“Me too.”

He looked up at me and our eyes locked. Slowly he brought his hand up to my cheek and I nestled myself against his palm…

“This isn’t going to be easy…”

“When has our relationship ever been that? Three has always been a crowd.”

“Three?” he cocked his eyebrow, his face betraying a bit of fear as to who else held my heart.

“You, me…and your ego.”

He laughed, his eyes bright.

“God…Allie…I love you.”

“I love you too.”

We kissed passionately under the stars, oblivious to the people around us…forgetting where we were and why we were here. We were in love. That was all that mattered.

When we finally broke off, Flint looked at me and smiled.

“You think Hawk would mind if we left early?”

“Mmmmm…I think he would understand.”

“So,” I began lightly as we walked towards my driver arm in arm, “does this mean I get to drive the ‘stang.”

He tensed, but out of the corner of my eye I saw his sparkle in amusement.

“Don’t push it.”

So there you have it. HE LOVES ME. HE LOVES ME. HE LOVES ME.

Did I mention he loves me?

I am so happy I could just explode. I know this isn’t going to be easy. We aren’t out of the woods yet, but this is one major step forward. For both of us…

Meanwhile…I had better start getting ready for lunch. Hawk will be pissed if we are late. I managed to pick up quite a bit last night, but none of it is good. He is not going to like what I have to say.

Funding cuts are on the horizon and it looks like the Juggler’s are going to try and nail us to the wall again.

No…Hawk is not going to like this at all.



HE LOVES ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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To Be Continued!
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