Isn't Life Strange
By: Heidi
"Lady Niko" Reckel
Chapter XIII
So, in answer to the prayer,
The one you want is there,
The one you feel inside of you.
So, in answer to the dream,
This time you are so clear;
It's always got to be this way!
Forever...
Shock to the System, Yes
It was a beautiful day at BETA Mountain on Earth as the sun began to set in the western horizon. Goose had been off
duty all day and had spent most of it with Triton, avoiding Niko who was still on sick leave. Triton and a recently restored Mel
had been waiting for their chance, and this seemed to be it. It was that time of day when it really wasn't night or day, but
sometime in between. Long summers had a tendency to produce those nights, and Triton had suggested going for a ride up in
the mountains, and then brought Mel in on it to get Niko to go along, saying she could use the exercise. Realizing that he was
being outmaneuvered, but not understanding what was the ultimate goal, Shane had given in and asked Niko to go on a picnic
with him.
Now, as they rode side by side up the mountain paths, Shane sat on Triton, still thinking.
Still avoiding Niko, you mean,
an inner voice taunted. You already know what you have to say. Hell, you rehearsed it a dozen times before you asked
her along on this ride.
Triton looked up at the sky and then over to Mel. Their riders still weren't talking, they were going to have to do
something here. Triton swished his tail, almost like a human would wave to another human. Mel bobbed his head in response
and followed Triton onto a high plateau.
Once they reached the top of the plateau, the horses stopped, allowing their riders to admire the view. The first few stars
were starting to come onto the horizon. Niko dismounted and walked over to the edge of the plateau to get a better look. She
spoke up for the first time in a while, "Why don't we stop here and have our picnic while we watch the stars come out."
Shane took a deep breath. Now or never, Gooseman, he thought to himself, but all he said was, "Sure."
He got off Triton and emptied the saddlebags, taking out a cooler and a hot pack. Niko got a blanket out of Mel's
saddlebags and spread it out on the ground. The two worked around each other, in silence, neither one saying anything. Niko
was too shy and too uncertain; Goose was too scared to come out and admit anything.
Neither one of them really tasted the food. They sat there in silence, with too much to say and, neither knew how or
where to start....
Finally, Niko spoke. "Shane? Are you all right?"
"Yeah... yeah, I'm all right.... just thinking is all," Shane answered, gulping down the bite of food he had in his mouth. He
was so nervous, he couldn't believe it.
"I was...thinking, too. Remembering what happened... I try not to think about it, but 'Kraya' is always going to be there."
He nodded silently and started to put everything back in the packs, aside from the blanket, which they both still sat on.
While the two had been eating, Mel and Triton had used the opportunity to try and sneak away, stranding their riders.
Suddeny realizing he was hearing hoof beats, Shane looked up. "What the---" He stood up and yelled after them. "Triton!"
Niko also bolted up and shouted out for Mel, but the horses were out of earshot. She sighed. "Guess that means we walk
back."
"And, never hear the end of it from Doc?" Shane asked, staring at the path their horses had taken.
"So, we wait them out?" Niko asked, looking up at his face.
"Yeah," was the answer. "They have to come back sooner or later."
Dead silence lingered between the two for several moments as Niko tried to work up the nerve to ask Shane about what
had happened when she had first woken up, and Shane gave himself hell for being so afraid to express his feelings for her.
Niko blinked and shook her head. "Did you just say something?"
"No, I didn't."
"Strange," she said. "I could have sworn you said something..."
There are some things that even a Supertrooper can't do... There it was again--that thought-voice that Niko knew had
to be coming from Shane.
"Look, Niko..." Goose began, at the same time as Niko said, "Shane, there's something I've been meaning to ask you..."
They both broke off and tried again, "Niko, look..." and Niko said, "Shane..."
"You first."
"No, you go first."
Goose looked decidedly uncomfortable, and Niko blushed bright red. Silence fell between them again as they tried to
decide what to say.
"Did you want to go first, Shane?" Niko asked after another long pause. Someone had to break the ice here...
"Not really..."
Triton picked this up through his audio sensors. "It won't work, Mel," grumbled the white robosteed to his companion.
Mel answered, "Give them time, Triton. They won't be going anywhere for a while..."
"I sometimes wish they weren't so stubborn."
"What do you expect? They're working with organic parts, not machine minds."
"True," said Triton.
Back on the plateau, things had fallen into stony silence again. The temperature was falling as well. After a long time, Niko
pulled herself into a cross-legged sitting position on the blanket. She said hesitantly, "Shane, Doc told me that you didn't leave
my side when I was in a coma."
Shane licked his lips and took in a deep breath. Doc... even after he had make the hacker swear not to tell anyone.
"Doc..." Goose swore. "You're in trouble now..."
"Huh?" Niko said. "Why is he in trouble? All he said to me was that you stayed by me the whole time, as did Dr. Davis,
and the rest of the medical staff."
"Nothing... Doc just can't keep his mouth shut," Goose grumbled, fighting back a blush.
"Would he be Doc if he did?" Niko asked, looking at him.
Goose chuckled. At least it was an ice breaker.
Niko sighed and crossed her arms as if to ward off a chill.
"Yeah, where would we be without Doc?" Shane commented, before reaching over and putting a hand on her shoulder.
"Cold?"
Niko decided to take advantage of the opening, "Yeah, I guess, a little."
Shane scooted closer to her. This was safe. Nothing too heavy or dangerous...he tried to take a deep breath, and quell
the panic-like feeling in his gut.
Niko looked at him curiously. "Shane, what are you so nervous about?"
He didn't realize that his hand was across her shoulders, nor that she was leaning a bit into him.
"Nervous? Me?" he tried to cover it with bravado but instead, took a deep breath. "I'm nervous..."
"So am I...and I think it might be the same reason."
* * * *
From their listening post, Triton said in a low voice, "I think it's working...finally."
"About time," Mel countered. "Ever since the Scarecrow, I was wondering when they'd realize it."
Then Triton said, "Shhh... they're finally talking!"
* * * *
Shane pulled back and looked at Niko. Now, he was really nervous. He didn't know where to go from here. He fumbled
for something to say....
Niko choked out the first words, every bit as nervous as he was, "Shane...you and I have been through a lot."
How, where could he even begin to explain his feelings... he nodded, "Niko, I..."
Oh, hell, Shane. You choked like this
back at Wolf Den, don't blow it now! His conscience told him. But Niko means a lot more
to me... he answered himself,
trying to justify his stalling. His words were jerky and halting, "Niko, there's something I told Doc... something he didn't tell you
because I made him swear not to."
Niko looked up at him expectantly.
It was now or never, he told himself, "Niko, I didn't want to leave you... I couldn't leave you. If I had lost you... I would
have lost more... more than a friend. Oh, hell, I... don't know how to say this..." Shane stumbled.
"I do... Because," Niko said, her voice halting and stumbling over every word. "Because I love you, too."
Goose let out the breath he didn't know he was holding. His green eyes went wide with shock, and he physically pulled
back from her.
"You.... you do?" he asked.
After it sunk in, Shane blinked. Niko could notice, even from a few feet away, that he was shaking. Gently, she reached
out and stroked his jaw with the back of her hand, nodding.
"Are you afraid of me?" she asked quietly, suddenly dropping her head and looking away in shame. "After all that with
'Kraya...'"
Goose protested, "No! It has nothing to do with Kraya! Niko, you know I wouldn't," he stumbled "how could I?" He
took her hand within his own. "The Queen tried to destroy the person you were. She brainwashed you, and implanted the
Kraya personality. I was there Niko, I know what she did to you."
Shane paused, tormented by self-doubt, "Niko, do yourself a favor... don't let yourself do this... You deserve better."
"Better?" She asked, confused.
He pulled his hands away, lest he be too tempted not to let them - or her - go.
"Why do you say that?" Niko asked, trying to follow his logic.
"You should be going after a man who can give you what you deserve... I can't give you any kind of life. I'm just a
Supertrooper, a killer. You don't deserve that."
That got Niko angry. With fire in her eyes she said, "Don't give me that, Shane! You're more than 'just a Supertrooper!'"
Shane was thrown off guard, and didn't know quite what to say. He wanted her close (oh, did he ever want her), but what
kind of future would they have? "If this doesn't work...I don't want to hurt you. The last thing I want to do is hurt you."
He scrambled to his feet and paced around, running a hand through his hair, unsure of what to do, what to say....
Niko was frowning as she too got to her feet and walked towards him with a purposeful look in her eyes.
Triton's audio sensors picked all this up. This was turning the wrong way.
"Shane," Niko said. "We're both rangers. I know that a stray Crown blast, a lucky shot by the Black Hole Gang, or
something detonating with one of us in it are possibilities we have to live with. I don't want to die, but I'm not going to let that
stop me from living, either." she said, moving closer to him.
Goose knew she was right, but still.... He swallowed nervously, but made no move away. "Niko, there's a lot that I don't
understand... with you... it's strange, almost alien... Battle-fever, rage, lust... I understand. When I look at you... I don't
understand anymore."
Niko smiled, now she was getting somewhere. "So let me teach you," she said quietly, as she moved up next to him. She
stood on her tip-toes and lightly placed her lips on his.
He was stunned for a moment, then relaxed, putting his arms around her. At the same time, cold and hot shivers ran up
and down his spine.
Niko leaned back in his arms and put her hands on his chest as she said, "That was lesson one."
Shane didn't want this to end, didn't want to let her go. He sighed, not taking his arms from around her waist. "Beats battle
simulation," he said with a very lopsided grin.
Niko returned the grin as she leaned forward, and this time put her arms around his neck. She pulled Shane's head down
to her and soundly kissed him again.
His arms tightened around her in reflex. This was the same, and yet so different. He'd had other women, inconsequential,
physically pleasurable flings. When he thought of Niko, his blood burned with an alien but pleasant emotion. Shane was fast
loosing all rational thoughts. Gladly, eagerly, he leaned into her kiss, ready to let himself do whatever this new feeling led to.
Love. His mind played with the word. A word so simple for something so wonderful and frightening at the same time.
When had this started, what brought him here? A million memories, a cauldron of emotions that a Poe Mutant Sensation doll
couldn't hope to beat, all swirled around with the hot and cold flashes. Standing by her with danger, watching her laugh, talking
to her for hours on end, or having silent conversation in the interceptor... He tried to remember when thinking of Niko hadn't
brought up those kind of emotions and couldn't.
Eventually, they ended the kiss, both needing to come up for air.
It took Shane a few moments to ask in a voice that wasn't too steady, "Lesson Two?"
Niko kept her head down and against his chest afraid to look up and see the reaction upon his face. She idly played with
the short hair at the back of his neck. "Up to you."
Shane took a deep breath, and tried to stay steady, failing miserably. "Oh man, am I outta my league...." he muttered,
before bending his head back down to kiss her thoroughly once more....
"Niko," he said quietly, yet oddly firm, when he ended the kiss. "Niko, I love you. I'm still trying to understand what it
means, but I love you."
* * * *
A few clicks away, Triton and Mel picked those words up on their audio sensors.
"Mission accomplished," said Mel.
"They certainly took their time," Triton snorted, tossing his head. "Humans," the white horse grumbled. "We will return for
them in the morning."
"In the meantime?" asked Mel.
"Not my concern," said Triton and powered down for the night.
So be it, Mel thought, following Triton's example. The less distractions their riders had for the moment, the better...
* * * *
On the plateau top, night had finally fallen, leaving the clear summer sky, with the moon and stars being the only light within
eyesight.
Niko burrowed closer into Shane's arms. She was happy that she had finally gotten the answer she had wanted out of
him. His heart was racing against hers, and his arms were trembling with the sheer awe of it all. Gods, when hadn't she dreamed
of this?
Niko tipped her head back to look at him and said, "I thought that once I told you, that I wouldn't be scared by how I feel
for you anymore... and here I am still trembling," she admitted with a nervous laugh.
"I'm not so steady myself," he said.
"You, Shane Gooseman, the lady killer himself--" she joked, laughing lightly.
"--Has been killed by his own prey," he answered, before kissing her again. It was electrifying this time, sending jolts
down his spine. Her ribs under his fingers, her lean body...the fast beat of her heart. His lips began to roam, kissing her ear, her
forehead, her long neck.
"Over there," Niko breathed, gesturing to the blanket. "Might be a better place to continue this. I'm not going to be able to
stand much longer."
Giving her a wolfish grin Shane said, "I didn't intend to allow you to stand much longer."
They led each other to the blanket and lay next to each other, their legs were now starting to tangle together. Neither was
sure who made the first move past that, but it was definitely the right move, and the two showered each other with intimate
attention. Buttons and fasteners slowly came undone, and no word was spoken between them. Finally, it was only the touch of
flesh against flesh, and both of them gasped with the contact.
Shane reached underneath her head, fingers tangling with her fire-red hair. "You are beautiful."
Niko blushed bright red at his words, and Shane noticed just how far the blush went. She reached up and brushed a stray
lock of blond hair from his face. "So are you. In body and soul."
Shane gasped, and could only gaze at her for the longest time before leaning down to kiss her one last time. After that,
there was no need for words. Only the primalness of this moment, the joy in sharing it with the woman he loved.
The night was indeed powerful magic, but not the magic of destruction, not the magic of Supertrooper and Kraya - but of
Shane and Niko - lovers at last.
* * * *
The sun came up slowly and awareness returned. At first, Shane thought it was a dream. It couldn't have been real,
then his senses began feeding him information. A smell came to his nose-- tingling at the back of his head the slight scent of
spices and wild flowers, the feel of silken hair tickling his face, the heaviness and warmth of arms twined with his and the sound
of someone breathing peacefully next to him all seemed too beautiful to be true. He was afraid to open his eyes and find that it
was indeed a dream. When he did open his eyes, he saw a pair of blue-violet ones staring back.
"This can't be real..." he thought.
A thought tickled the back of his mind, It's no dream, love. I'm here.
The blue-violet eyes crinkled up at the corners he noticed, as she smiled and said, "Good morning."
Shane had a hard time getting the messages from his mind to his mouth and couldn't think of a single thing to say. He finally
reached over and gave her a long slow kiss before getting up and trying to find his chronometer in the pile of garments left over
from last night. If he had looked into those eyes any longer, who knew what would happen,
he thought... then he smiled but who was there to care.
Niko lay there wrapped in one of the blankets, watching Goose as he got dressed. With a sigh, she also got up, keepingthe blanket carefully wrapped around her and picked up her clothing from the pile.
"So," Shane said, trying to feign casual, but feeling confused as hell. "You want to pick up breakfast?"
Niko noticed him watching her and she blushed red, holding the blanket up higher around herself.
"Well, we never did finish what was left in the picnic basket..." she floundered, trying like him to be nonchalant.
Finally, it got to him. Fastening the last button on his shirt, he walked over to the picnic basket and dug out the still-full,
and still-hot thermos of coffee and the two mugs. "I'll get it," he said, glad to have something to do to keep his wandering eyes
off of her.
While he had his back turned, Niko hurriedly got dressed. Not understanding why she was so shy around him all of a
sudden...
Keeping his back to her to give her some privacy, Shane poured the two mugs of coffee. He kept looking back, though.
She was beautiful...just incredible, too. He tried to blot out the memory of running his fingers through her long, red hair, of
holding her... It felt so good, damn it. To finally give in after holding back for...hell, at least a year and a half.
Niko's cheeks were stained bright red... she had let her shields down the night before, and hadn't thought to raise them
back up. So now, she was picking up on all his thoughts.
Every time their eyes met though, she blushed. Shane was so unsure of how to take that... it was what she wanted... right?
Frustrated, he looked through the basket for something to eat. Part of him was wishing that it wasn't a mistake and that he'd
have more mornings like this one. Part of him was wishing that she'd just call it a moment of weakness and a one-night stand.
Niko was just as confused as Goose and didn't know where to go from there either...
"You know," Shane finally said. "That we can't continue this... much as I want to." He knew all too well that the Series 5
Project was the only thing keeping him from an icy coffin.
Niko came and stood next to him and took his hand within her own trembling ones, trying to think of what to say to break
the tension. She sighed; his was a tough one to answer. If the brass ever found out about this, they would be separated. Either
that, or "asked" to discontinue the relationship. She said with much hesitation, "I'm... I just don't know what to do next."
Shane looked down at the small hand in his and turned to face her. But, on the other hand, to hell with the brass. What did
they care about human emotions? Clearing his throat he said, still looking down at her hand in his, "Or we could try to keep it
quiet."
"And not tell anyone, not even Zachary or Doc," Niko answered in a soft voice.
Nodding his head in agreement, Shane raised her face and brushed his lips lightly against hers.
Niko gladly responded, deepening the kiss.
Shane was so unused to being able to touch or feel much of anything, this was pure joy. He could be happy that moment,
laying down everything without a struggle.
The kiss would have gone on much longer had not the cyberhorses chose that moment to make their return.
"What do suppose they are doing, Triton?" the bronze-colored horse asked.
Triton let out what almost sounded by a human chuckle, "Something I do not know much about, but I'd guess that they
are enjoying it."
Shane and Niko broke off the kiss to look up at the cyberhorses.
"Triton, old buddy," Shane said. "You are in big trouble."
Triton answered, "We could always go off and leave you again..."
Niko couldn't help it, she started laughing. "You did this on purpose!"
Triton's silence on the subject said it all.
"Damn..." Goose said, giving in and chuckling, "I should have known it."
"I am not programmed to go against Niko's wishes," Mel said in his ever calm voice.
"But I never..." Niko started to protest.
Shane turned and smiled looking down at Niko "But you never what?"
Then she stopped, and started blushing furiously once again, "Oh my... the conversation with Ariel..."
"And I'm not in any position to disobey my rider, either," Triton answered.
"Ariel?" He blinked, confused as he looked between Niko and Triton. "What conversation... what are you talking about?"
he asked.
"I had a conversation with Ariel on the Cheyenne on the way back to Earth from Granna..." Niko answered.
"You did Goose. when she was comatose due to the Scarecrow's last attack, you expressed a wish to talk to her alone
once she had recovered," Triton said at the same time.
"I.. didn't..." he stood there staring at his mount. "I think someone needs a new memory bank," he grumbled at last.
"I came up here to just talk. I didn't--" Niko cut herself off before she said too much. She blushed bright red again.
"Maybe it's time we should be getting back," she said, still looking at her mount.
"Wait!" Shane said, throwing an irritated look at Triton, "We aren't finished yet!"
"We were done talking about it Shane, I don't know what else is there to say... you aren't changing your mind... are you?"
she asked, her voice faltering at the end. Gods, they had come this far only to have him get cold feet...
He walked over to her, and placed one hand on her arm, pulling her up to face him, and another hand gently captured her
chin bringing her face up so he could kiss her once more.
"Does that answer your question?" he asked after ending the kiss.
"I think so," she answered and kissed him.
______________________________________________________
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