Isn't life Strange
By: Heidi "Lady Niko" Reckel

Chapter XI
"Well, Mamma told me when I was young,
'Stand tall girl, you're not for war.'
She said, 'You can't be what you want to be,
But you can shape the course of your destiny!'
I can't break away!"
 I Can't Break Away, Big Pig


  Zachary felt physically ill at the sight. On the huge monitor of the battleship, they were witnessing Granna getting attacked. The Crown Destroyers had moved in, and were firing upon the League Cruisers and blasting away at the Interceptor squadrons. The tiny interceptors and cruisers of BETA were igniting and going to their silent graves out in space, and the Queen was standing on the bridge, witnessing it all. Damn, he wished these force-cuffs weren't so tight. The door slid open, and Niko walked in and stood next to the Queen. Zachary heard Doc gasp at the sight. She was still dressed in that less fancy version of the Queen's black and purple jumpsuit.

  "Mistress, what is the fleet's status?"

  The Queen smiled at her pupil, before answering. "As you can see, my dear, we're winning. Look down there."

  Zach hoped that this was a nightmare, something he could wake up from. He shouted, "Niko, it's us,"

  "Two Slaverlords of your own to command, dear," the Queen purred. "A reward for your service. Of course, I will have to hide the bodies..."

  Niko's face was blank as she heard her name called. She gave no sign of recognition.

  "She doesn't recognize us," said Doc. "The Queen probably shampooed her brain so well after her little call to BETA it's no surprise she wouldn't know her name."

  Zach agreed with that. It made perfect sense. He looked over to Doc, and asked, "They didn't leave you with your CDU, did they?"

  Doc grinned and leaned over to Zachary and whispered one word, "Nope."

  Zach realized that Doc had hidden the CDU and handed the guards a dummy. If they ever got back to BETA...

  "Where is it?"

  Doc looked down at the floor...No, his boot.

  Zach was hard pressed not to smile, "Doc.."

  "Computer programmer's rule number six: Never leave home without a back up." He continued, "It isn't anything great, it's old code. The first versions of Tripwire and Pathfinder. I'll need to dump it into a computer directly for it to work, though. That means a distraction."

  "Give me a moment, Doc"

  The Queen smiled and called a guard over. The robot strode to her side.

  "Give me your blaster," said the Queen. The robot obeyed. She walked over to Niko and handed her the blaster.

  "I've changed my mind about the prisoners. I want them dead," She pointed out Zachary and Doc standing out in the open below, "I want you to shoot them."

  "Mistress?" Kraya asked.

  "In the head, Girl!" the Queen ranted, standing and sending a jolt into Kraya's mind. The young woman gasped and stumbled back.

  She looked at the Queen in confusion, "Mistress? Why? Why did you do that?" Kraya stalled, something, just didn't feel right about shooting the two prisoners.

  Zach nodded to Doc, this was going to have to be it.

  "You dare ask questions of me!!!" The Queen sent another jolt, and Kraya screamed. Zachary and Doc whipped around, as did most of the guards.

  Doc moved away from Zach.

  "That's how she's keeping Niko under control," Zachary realized. But Doc was using the distraction to reach down and twist the heel on his boot.

  "Niko!" Zach called out. "Use your implant! Fight back!"

  The control disk fell out, and Doc started to inch his way to the nearest available terminal.

  Zach saw Doc's movement out of the corner of his eye. He was going to have to move fast once the guards noticed what Doc was doing.

  Kraya shook her head as if she had something caught in her ear.

  Zach called out again, "Niko! Remember! You're a Galaxy Ranger!"

  She started to back up, and raise her blaster, aiming it towards the floor below...

  The Queen smiled in anticipation. Yes, this would truly make Niko hers, if she killed her fellow Rangers.

  Time slowed to an obscene crawl. Zachary looked up. He wouldn't have time to move...

  "Do it, my dear, remember, they deserted you, left you for dead...." the Queen goaded.

  Kraya/Niko's face was twisted and angry as she fired the blaster.

  "Niko! Kraya! Don't-" Zach started to cry out.

  The shot glanced past Zachary, hitting the console behind him, which started spitting and sparking. The Queen's superweapon was rendered useless.

  "No!!!" shouted the Queen. "You little Ranger Bitch! You've ruined everything!"

  "Niko! Watch out!" Zach called, wishing he could do something.

  Niko didn't seem to acknowledge as she kept firing and firing, the panel sparking and flaming, robot guards were milling around, and Zachary was doing his level best to fight them off.

  Doc managed to get to a control panel and insert his disk. These little programs wouldn't be much, but...He found a submenu describing command codes for the doomsday device.

  The lights on the bridge started to flash and a siren blared. "Five minutes to self-destruct. The self-destruct has been activated..."

  Doc choked and tried to punch in the code again, but no use. "Shit!" he cursed, and looked up. The guards had noticed him now, along with the Queen.

  "Get him! I don't care if you get him alive or not, but get him!" She cried out in anger.

  Doc bolted. He had to get out of here, as there was no way he'd be able to get to Zachary and the others. He rushed one of the guards that was heading straight for him, knocking the robot down. Doc paused long enough to get the keys to the force-cuffs, and the guards blaster. The force-cuffs fell off him, and he stuffed the keys into his uniform almost absentmindedly. He dashed further and further into the bowels of the ship.

  The countdown was ticking. Four minutes, thirty...

  He had to stop the countdown, or else Niko and Zach were toast... Panting, he slammed into white cloth.

  Oh, shit! he thought. I'm done for! Looking up, he gasped, and stumbled back. Two Slaverlords... and the faces in the crystals. They were Daisy O'Mega and Goose's!

  "Damn!" Doc cursed.

  They were expecting him to run, but in that instant, Doc did something that they weren't planning. He ran full on into Daisy's Slaverlord, at an almost suicidal rate. Making a blind grab, his hands clasped around her crystal, the Slaverlord collapsing into nothing.

  A shot rang out, and Doc sidestepped out of the way, but not gracefully enough. He fell to the floor, rolling to protect Daisy's crystal. He rolled onto his back to see Shane's Slaverlord towering over him. His leg was numb from the glancing stun blast, and a blaster was pointed at his head.

  He looked up at the Slaverlord and said, "You don't really want to shoot me, do you?" He swallowed, heart pounding, sweating buckets. "Uh... look, Goose... you shoot me, who would cover your ass in those stupid bets?"

  The Slaverlord didn't move, and the blaster remained pointed at his head.

  Doc exhaled and said a short prayer to whatever deity protected him.

  He got off the floor slowly, still hampered by his stiff leg.

  Four minutes...

  The Slaverlord still had the blaster trained on him and tracked his every move.

  Doc sighed. "Why am I bothering? We only have four minutes left. But, at least I'm not dying alone. You're going with me..." Doc started to walk away, ignoring the blaster at his back. He walked up to a console. He pressed a few buttons.

  Three minutes, forty-five seconds...

  "Why bother? We're all doomed anyway."

  Doc whipped around. The Slaverlord had shifted shape, now appearing as a ghostly version of Shane. The broken look that filled him was something Doc hoped he'd never see again.

  "Because I swore that I'd do my best to protect the League, just as you did," he managed to punch in a loop to the timer. They now had eight minutes to live, but the self-destruct was not going to shut down.

  He made a conscious effort to ignore the Slaverlord at his back as he moved away from the control console. He paused to wonder why the Slaverlord had not shot him, or had not summoned the guards to come haul him away. Doc pressed a button on a wall opposite the control console, and two crystal coffins slid out.

  Coolly, Doc walked over to one of them and joined Daisy's mind-crystal to her body crystal.

  She groaned and struggled to come to consciousness.

  He opened Goose's up next and made a grab for the crystal from Goose's Slaverlord as it disappeared. Doc had an odd feeling about this, like he never should mention this incident to Shane as long as they both lived. He joined the crystals, and Shane opened his eyes.

  It took Shane a second to find his voice, "Doc?"

  Helping both Shane and Daisy from the coffins, he grinned. "Welcome back to the land of the living...at least for the next six and a half minutes." He then said, "Yes, my Gooseman?"

  "Thanks," he said, his voice even more raspy than usual.

  Daisy leaned heavily against her crystal coffin, still feeling drained and woozy, and at a complete loss to where she was.

  Back on the bridge, all hell had broken loose. Zach was fighting a losing battle with his hands still bound by the force-cuffs. He couldn't activate his badge, and he couldn't effectively use his bionic arm.

  On the platform, Niko was fighting a battle for her freedom and sanity on both the physical and psychic planes.

  "You will obey..." the Queen hissed, pushing her both physically and mentally.

  The damn blocking her memories was starting to weaken, and Niko was beginning to remember just who she was. She staggered back, hands still clenching the blaster, but unable to raise it.

  Zachary dashed up to the platform, dodging Crown guards.

  "No!" Niko cried out, fighting to stay on her feet. Damn, if she would kneel to the Queen again.

  Five minutes...

  Niko started to back away, despite the blasts crashing into her mind. She turned and fired, the shot breaking Zachary's force-cuffs.

  "Get out of my mind!" she bit out; each word a sentence by itself. She spared a glance for Zach and cried, "Get out of here, Captain! Leave!"

  The banshee-like wail of her voice laced through Zachary.

  "No! Not without you!" Zach answered.

  Niko still had the blaster, but was unable to raise it. She had both hands clenched to the sides of her head, which felt like it was being split open by a pile-driver.

  The League Space Naval Fleet was beginning to rip through the smaller Crown fleet. Without the doomsday weapon, they wouldn't be able to take Granna.

  The Queen turned to the surprised guards and said, "What are you waiting for?! Shoot him!! Captain Foxx," she spat. "You will not win! Never! Not against me!"

  She turned her attention back to Niko, sending another, even more powerful pain spike into her mind. Then, she lashed out one more time at Niko with a full jolt of fury-driven psychic power. Niko yowled in mortal agony as she collapsed to the floor, lifeless.

  A guard ran up to the Queen, "Highness, we must abandon ship. The self-destruct..."

  "Niko!" Zach shouted, finally reaching her side.

  "It's too late, Captain Foxx," the Queen gloated. "Too late for you both. You'll never get out alive."

  She turned and ran off the bridge with her guards.

  Two minutes and counting.

  Robots still patrolled the floor. Zach picked Niko up in his arms and tried to revive her without luck. He was shocked by the sheer lack of weight on her. The Queen must have starved her. She felt like she could break at any second. Her breathing was shallow.

  "Come on, Niko! Wake up!" he said urgently, desperately.

  Zachary dashed to the turbolift door and shifting Niko's weight, he slammed his fist into the door controls. His bionics spit and sparked, along with the controls, and he couldn't feel his fingers. He'd pay for that.

  The lift door slid open, and Zachary bolted in, barely ducking the hail of stun beams lashing at him. The door closed and started its decent towards the shuttlebay.

One minute and counting...

  He looked up and saw that he was sharing the lift with Doc along with the restored Goose and Daisy.

  "Doc! Am I glad to see you!" he said.

  "We came back to get you, Cap..." Doc's cheerful greeting was cut off when he saw Shane cradling Niko's ashen form.

  Daisy huddled in the back and didn't say a word. She was still trying to shake off the lingering confusion and weakness from the Psychocrypt.

  "Oh, no..." was all Doc could say.

  "The Queen did something to her. I'm not sure exactly what," Zach said somberly.

  The lift stopped at the shuttlebay, and any guards patrolling it had had the good sense to abandon ship already. A couple of slow shuttles were all that remained. Piling into one, Doc sat in the pilot seat and Daisy took the co-pilot seat.

  "Everyone buckle in," barked Daisy. "This ride'll be a mite rough."

  Shane stayed in the back of the shuttle, not letting Niko out of his arms for a moment.

  There were five people in a shuttle designed for two. It was cramped, and the life support would be taxed hugely, but all they needed to do was make it to Granna. The shuttle lurched out of the bay with a jolt, the thrusters kicking in with a cough.

  As soon as they were out of range, the Crown destroyer detonated in a large, sweeping fireball.

  Shane looked down at Niko mournfully. He'd left her on such awkward terms. Now, he may never get a chance to make things right. "Hang in there, Niko..." he said softly. Looking up, he saw Daisy and Doc slaving over the controls. Maybe none of them would make it to Granna, was his scared thought.

  The shuttle got bounced about in the shock-wave, but Daisy and Doc managed to keep the shuttle under some sort of control.

  As soon as they were out of the shock wave, and the debris field, Doc tried the radio.

  Goose remembered what happened at Wollchat. They had disabled the Queen's big weapon, but were in a shuttle with only five minutes of air. He remembered gripping the seat arm, and then feeling Niko reach out and put an assuring hand over his.

  "This is Galaxy Ranger Hartford to any BETA vessel. Requesting emergency aid. Repeat. Requesting emergency aid." Doc turned around. "Guess what, guys. The radio's shot."

  Zach just had this look on his face that said, what else can go wrong?

  "And with the weight, we won't be able to land on Granna, either. Bloody hell." Daisy cursed fluently.

  Goose looked up and said, "Now what?"

  Zachary sighed. "Do you believe in God?"

  Goose looked at Zach somewhat confused, "I don't know... why?"

  "Because, now's the time to start praying for a miracle," Zach answered, looking at Goose and then down at Niko.

  After a long pause, Shane looked up, "Captain, what happened to her?" His voice was uncharacteristically choked.

  "She wrecked the Queen's doomsday device... she saved the lives of those people down on Granna. The Queen...attacked her, not physically, but in her mind...."

  "Doc, can you get this piece of junk to tell us what league ships are the closest to our position?" Zach asked a moment later.

  "The Laredo is only..." Doc said.

  "Head for the Laredo. It's our best chance." Zach interrupted. He didn't add that it may be Niko's only chance.

  They were hit by something. Daisy turned around, eyes lit up. "By the green hills! They have a tractor beam locked onto us!"

  "How's she doing?' asked Zachary.

  "I don't know, Zach... she's barely breathing..." Goose answered, looking at his captain.

  Zachary patted Shane's shoulder. "We all care about her. Hold on."

  The shuttle was pulled into the Laredo.....

* * * *

  Daisy watched with mixed feelings as Niko was rushed off to medical. She couldn't understand why she felt guilty that Niko had been injured when trying to rescue her of all people... She who had once been head of one of the most notorious criminal gangs in the galaxy was now feeling guilty about a Galaxy Ranger being seriously injured trying to save not only her, but her comrades? Daisy just couldn't figure it out, and at the moment, she didn't even know how she was still on her feet, she had such a crushing headache... A hangover from the Psychocrypt, she suspected.

  With an effort, she straightened her back and tried not to look like she felt she was going to keel over at any moment as Commander Walsh approached the small group. It was really an odd feeling, having a body again after a couple weeks of being nothing but a psychic construct. She was rather glad that she didn't have to try and aim her blasters.

  She tried to take a step forward, only to fall.

  A pair of arms caught her. "Easy there."

  She looked up and saw that it was Commander Walsh who caught her.

  Great, she thought, what an impression to make! I fall right into his arms!

  "Commander," she said weakly. "Thank you."

  "You've been through a lot, Miss O'Mega. I've heard reports about post-Psychocrypt shock. I'll take you to the sickbay to have you checked out."

  Daisy nodded silently. She leaned on him heavily, as he motioned his aide to go let medical know they were coming.

  "Your information saved an entire planet," Walsh said. After a long pause, he continued, "That won't be forgotten. We'll grant you your request for am-"

  "Like I said before, Commander, I have no love for the Queen of the Crown...." Daisy interrupted with just a hint of her usual feistiness. "What of Shane and Niko? They got themselves hurt trying..."

  The Rangers had fallen in behind Walsh and Daisy, and Shane spoke up, "I'll live, even though the Psychocrypt leaves you with one hell of a hangover."

  She looked at Shane, whose eyes were on the bustle of medical technicians trying to stabilize Niko enough to get her to the sickbay. She wasn't blind, far from it. She remembered the icy looks Niko had given her the last time they ran across each other.

  "And, as for Ranger Niko..." Walsh's voice trailed off for a second, as he too looked over to where the med-techs were working on Niko. "We don't know yet how badly she was injured by the Queen..."

  "I hope she'll be all right," Daisy said. "She's the true hero of this whole bloody mess, after all."

  Walsh was somewhat surprised. He had been half-expecting to find a hardened, brazen criminal... not this truly subdued and remorseful woman. It went a lot deeper than just the post-Psychocrypt shock, or did it?

  Doc and Zach also looked at each other in surprise. Did they hear Daisy right? Goose kept quiet, still watching the med-techs with an anxious expression, almost oblivious to the surroundings.

  "Commander," she said. "I don't believe I can return to where I was. Things... changed. Not just the Queen. I'll take amnsety, but if BETA insists on bringing me to trial, it just might be time for me to turn myself in."

  "You've more than earned your pardon, Miss O'Mega. You can go anywhere in the galaxy now..." Commander Walsh answered.

  "I won't be going back to the wrong side of the law, Commander. I'll have to think about what other options there are for a fast gun."

  Commander Walsh allowed himself a small chuckle, "I'm sure you'll think of something, Miss O'Mega."

  Daisy's remaining strength gave out, and she could feel herself about to faint. She said, "Commander..." as her knees buckled, and she slid towards the ground.

  This time, one of the med-techs rushed forward and helped Commander Walsh catch her.

  One med-tech looked her over with a scanner. "She's exhausted. I'd say let her sleep for a few days, and she'll be okay."

  He punched in a few bits of data. "Who is she? One of the colonist militia?"

  "No," said Walsh. "Daisy O'Mega. She was responsible for warning us that the Queen was going to invade Granna," he continued.

  The med-tech lifted an eyebrow, "Wonders never cease."

  Another med-tech noticed with sharp eyes Zach's damaged bionic hand. "Captain Foxx, your hand..."

  Zachary looked down, noticing the sparking and gaping wires as if it were the first time he saw it. "Oh, that. Little injury on the way out. It doesn't feel as bad as it looks. It can wait. How's Niko?" Foxx was concerned about his teammate.

  The med-tech shook his head. "Not good, I'm afraid. She's breathing with respirators and is in deep physical shock. What's worse is her neural readings. We haven't seen anything like this before."

  "But, she's going to be all right, isn't she?" Doc asked, equally worried.

  "We don't know, Ranger Hartford," the med-tech said. "The doctors are trying their best. We think we can get her stabilized, but anything past that is up to her and God."

  A Catch-22 then... The gifts that made Niko unique, also made it hard for the medics to understand, much less cure her.

  The Rangers and Walsh hung their heads, except for Goose, who just walked over to the glass partition and stared though it as the flurry of medical personnel continued their struggle.

  "Now, if you'll excuse, me gentlemen, Commander Walsh, I'll see that Miss O'Mega is taken care of..."

  Zachary looked over at Goose. "Goose, you ought to get some rest."

  "Not until I know she's out of danger," Goose answered. "You go on. I'll be all right, sir," he said distantly. "You're the one who needs help."

  Zachary was about to protest, but then remembered his own share of sleepless nights. He was vaguely aware of his hand starting to hurt now. "All right," he said. "But just remember that she'd want you to take care of yourself, okay?"

  Doc came over and said, "Come on, Captain, we'd better get your hand looked at..."

  Zachary nodded, and he and Doc walked away. Walsh had already left quietly. That left Shane alone.

* * * *

  Niko had destroyed the weapon, saved so many people...and of course, he knew what the Queen was doing to her. Ripping away her psyche a piece at a time... Shane unconsciously crossed his arms, as if warding off some impending blast of cold air.

  The Laredo medical staff worked feverishly to stabilize Niko and to try and find out why she was in a coma.

  He was so deep in thought that he almost didn't hear the door to the observation area open. "Yes?"

  Doc came walking in, his normally cheerful expression was somber as he approached with the Laredo's medical officer.

  The medical officer nodded. "I think... it would be easier to hear it from you, Dr. Hartford." The man left, and the two of them were alone in the room.

  "Hey, Goose," Doc said quietly. "How are you doing? I thought you'd be sleeping. From what Zach and Daisy told me, the Psychocrypt takes a lot out of a person."

  "Nah, couldn't sleep..." Goose shook his head as he ran a hand through his tousled hair.

  "I got the news on Niko," Doc said. "Doctor Ardrel told me that she has a chance."

  Goose looked up hopefully, "She does? Tell me, Doc."

  "They've never seen a case like hers, so it's... it's hard to say. What I know is she's breathing well on her own, and she's not in the deep neural shock like she was when she first came aboard."

  "But, will she wake up?" Goose turned his head and continued to look off into the observation room trying to catch another glimpse of the auburn hair.

  "Gooseman, talk to me, okay?" said Doc. "Something's eating you. I know you're worried. Hell, I'm really worried, but you haven't left here for almost ten hours now."

  Goose sighed, and ran a hand through his hair once more. "I'll leave when I'm ready," he said, not allowing his eyes to stray from the window.

  "Niko means a lot to us both. She's our friend, after all," Doc said, trying to get Goose to open up to him.

  "Yeah." Goose answered, then thought, and more to me.

  "I didn't get to say good-bye, either," said Doc. "Last I saw of her before this, Zach and I were bolting out of Sorry End like bats out of hell."

  A long pause.

  "Well, at least she wasn't mad at you when you left," Goose said wryly.

  "So that's what this is about. Man, I'm sorry."

  "Nothing will change it, Doc. I'll just lose my chance."

  "Why was she mad?" asked Doc.

  "It was something stupid. I was... a little too protective of her after the Scarecrow got her back on Granna, I guess."

  "My Gooseman," Doc had to hide a smile. "Protective? Well, I know she was in lousy shape after that last attack. Scarecrow damn near proved that the third time's a charm."

  "What's so damn funny, Doc?" Shane said, his voice oddly flat.

  Doc smothered his grin, just barely. He scrambled to find a way to defuse Goose's temper. He did not want Goose to cold-cock him. Taking a look in on Niko quickly sobered him. In a flash, all the pieces came together. Doc cleared his throat, "Nothing really."

  "She thought I was acting like a mother hen," Shane said. "Looking back, I guess she was right. I just... didn't want her hurt again... I don't know why I was looking out for her the way I did..."

  "So, tell me, was that the only reason she was upset with you?" Doc questioned. He was starting to get somewhere now.

  Shane blinked, and touched the glass, almost as if hoping he could reach through and touch Niko.

  Doc looked like he wanted to say something, but he couldn't tell Shane this. He had to figure it out for himself and recognize what it was.

  "We can't live in the past. We have to hope for the future," Doc muttered.

  "That sounds like something Niko would say, Doc," Shane glanced at his friend with a wry smile.

  "It is. It's something she told me once."

  Shane spoke again after a long time, not really paying attention to his words, staring into the glass. "I was getting ready to go after Daisy. She was standing there, expecting me to apologize or something. I didn't know what. I just walked up and I gave her a kiss good-bye..." He looked back through the window, hoping, willing Niko to wake up, to look his way...

  "That doesn't sound so awful, Goose," Doc quipped, trying to put some lightness back into the conversation.

  "She's my friend, Doc. I suppose she was from the start...I just didn't know what to do on Granna, so..."

  "So you gave her a kiss."

  Shane actually looked embarrassed as he answered, "Yeah..."

  Doc had to fight hard to hide the smile that threatened to break out on his face. "But you were separated, and..."

  "And," Shane said, turning to him and barking. "I was turned into part of the Queen's sick head. I was there when she did all that to Niko! I was watching and couldn't do anything. I would have done anything to stop the Queen from hurting her."

  "Anything?" asked Doc.

  "Anything."

  "Because you love her."

  "Yes!" Shane realized what he had just said, then staggered back. "Doc, you... you... you tricked me!"

  Doc smiled. There, he thought satisfied, he had gotten Shane to admit it.

  Shane Gooseman, Supertrooper, felt relieved in a way.

  Doc didn't bother to hide the grin that found its way to his face this time. "It's about time you admitted it, Gooseman."

  "But, Doc, Niko's... she's my friend. I... She wouldn't feel the same way about me, all right?"

  "Oh, really, now how did you come to that conclusion? Did you ask her?" Doc was so tempted to roll his eyes.

  "Doc... Oh, hell. Even if she did... she deserves someone better than me..."

  "I don't know," said Doc. "Lots of folks think you're pretty decent."

  "She's beautiful, Doc. She never...I wasn't a monster to her."

  "Goose, have you even tried to talk to her about how she might feel?" Doc asked with a raised eyebrow.

  "No, and I may never get the chance."

  "Aw, Goose... I'm sorry."

  "Doc," said Shane. "Do me a favor on this."

  "Sure, my Gooseman, go right ahead."

  "You've got to promise me that you won't tell Niko this...Forget about this conversation totally. Don't leak any of this to Zachary, either."

  "But, will you tell Niko and let her decide for herself when she wakes up?"

  Doc had his fingers crossed behind his back. He would tell Niko if Goose never worked up the courage to do it. "The rest is up to you. You're going to have to tell her yourself. I won't breathe a word to anyone."

  Shane clasped Doc on the shoulder and grinned with mock fierceness. "You know, if this gets out, you'll have me on your doorstep ready to knock you into next week"

  Doc nodded, "Okay man, not a word. Keep me posted, okay?"

  "Okay, Doc."

  Doc toyed with the idea of sending a message on a monitor so Niko could see it. He hoped she would survive to allow it.

  Doc vanished out the door into the next room to go check on Zach. Shane continued to stare into the next room.

  The Laredo's medical officer poked out his head, "Ranger Gooseman?"

  "Yeah?"

  "If you want to see your friend, she's in here. It will be all right. In fact, it just might help her come out of it."

  "I'm coming," Shane said before walking into Niko's room.

* * * *

  Shane sat at Niko's bedside and never thought he'd feel this awful. He'd seen Death... known what is was to see a friend dying on the battlefield. Casualties were a too-common part of Wolf Den life. He could accept it then, as it was all he knew.

  So much had happened in these past two years. He had made some genuine friends, tied up a few loose ends where his loyalties were concerned, and even started to trust...

  He sat by her bed, just like he had when she had been hurt so badly by the Scarecrow. The feelings were a lot more intense now. His gut felt like it was tied up in knots.

  How the hell do I speak to her? he thought. Would she hear any of it?

  "Niko," he whispered. "It's Shane. Is any of this getting through?"

  No response. Just as well. Damn it, why did he have to be so gutless when she was still well?

  I can fight Crown Agents by the dozen, betray and hunt my former friends, and face down near-impossible odds... but I'm so scared to talk... Of course. Fighting I know. Fighting is what I was created to do...

  He closed his eyes and remembered. Niko... she wasn't frightened by him, not even a little. He told her outright what he was... a weapon designed to kill in the League's name. He had hoped to scare her away, to put up that distance to discourage her from even bothering to befriend him.

  He brushed a lock of hair from her face. Niko had persisted, and Shane was so glad she did. She didn't fear him, or want to use him for something. She watched out for him... even off the field.

  I was designed to kill, not love. I had to learn that...Thanks, Babe. Thank you for not being afraid of me. Thank you for teaching me.

  "Niko," he whispered, voice choked. "I know you're strong. It's up to you which way you want to go... Either way, I'll be here. Even if I'm just saying good-bye."

  He just took her hand and held it, staring blankly at the monitors. Without realizing it, he had placed her limp hand over his heart. Too afraid to voice his real desire out loud he sat silently by her bedside, waiting.

* * * *

  Outside the Medical Bay, Doc and Zach paced the corridors.

  "Goose won't leave her side. If she..." Doc swallowed. "If she doesn't make it, I think we ought to keep a really close eye on him."

  Zachary nodded. "I know, Doc. I know... Goose and Niko didn't want to admit it to each other, but..."

  "I think Goose just started to admit it to himself during that incident with the Scarecrow," Doc sighed. "God, he's going through hell right now. I talked to him a little bit ago."

  "Get anything out of him?"

  "Nope. Total stonewall. Not surprised, though."

  Zachary took a last gulp of coffee. "Come on, Doc. Let's go check up on Niko."

* * * *

  It was late, and Goose had long since given up on trying to keep track of how long he had spent by Niko's bedside, silently willing her to wake up. He'd fallen asleep in that chair. He was going to wait it out, no matter which way it went. Niko had been injured saving those millions of people on Granna, and in rescuing both him and Daisy. The least he could do was wait it out with her. Despite his attempts to stay awake, the emotional exhaustion of keeping his vigil and the post-Psychocrypt shock caused him to finally fall asleep.

  She stirred a little, then managed to open her eyes. Where was she? How did she get here? Her vision refused to focus, and she was too weak to do much moving. Her hearing, though, was fine. She could hear medical monitors surrounding her. Reaching out weakly with her right hand, she felt something. A finger... a hand...

  Shane felt something run across his hand. Jerking awake, he looked down and saw Niko's hand brushing against his.

  Zachary and Doc were passing near the hospital room when they heard a noise that seemed almost torn from a masculine throat. Freezing in their tracks, they spun around and, instantly recognizing the voice, sped towards Niko's room.

  Zachary stopped a short distance from the closed door and stopped Doc. Walking carefully to the door, Zachary turned the handle, readying words of comfort. A quick glance at Doc's uncharacteristically worried face revealed that Doc was also preparing for the worst.

  They opened the door. All they could see was Shane's back. He was holding something or someone, and neither Zachary or Doc could see the monitors from the doorway. They walked forward, and Shane turned towards them.

  Zachary was half expecting to see Shane half-mad with grief, holding the dead body of their teammate and friend.

  But it was the exact opposite.

  She had her eyes open, and they were bright and clear. Shane was holding her, a huge smile on his face.

  "Hello, you two," Niko whispered, still weak, but not the wreck they'd drug out of the Queen's ship.

  Doc flashed his characteristic grin, and bowed mockingly, "And a good morning to you, Lady Niko."

  Zachary came forward. "Glad to have you back."

  "Good to be back," she whispered, then turned to Shane. "I need to rest."

  Shane lowered her to the bed gently and slid the pillow under her head. He took her hand in both of his, seeming to forget that Zachary and Doc were in the room. "It's okay, Babe. Sleep. You've earned it."

  Doc shot a glance over to Zachary and whispered, "I say we split and leave the lovebirds on their own."

  Zachary chuckled a little, "Sure that's a good idea?"

  Doc winked, "Trust me, they'll be fine."

  Zachary had to cover his mouth with his hand to keep from laughing too loudly. He nodded to Doc, and they made a discreet exit.

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