Dreams
By: Tim "Chiang-Ku" Morrison
"Nights in white satin ... never reaching the end ...
letters I've written ... never meaning to send"
"Beauty I'd always missed ... with these eyes before
... just what the truth is ... I can't say anymore"
"cause I love you .... yes I love you o-oh how I love you"
- Moody Blues
A soft gong brought Goose to full
alertness in the manner he'd been trained for. He looked around. The old
training grounds around Wolf Den. He heard a laugh, and turned, alert as
always, to catch Killbane's killing leap. He dodged, and allowed the lager
man's own momentum to carry him over and into the ground a few meters away.
"Hah, not bad, runt! But dodge this!" Killbane suddenly
brought up a laser, and fired, Goose screamed as he saw his arm cut off and
float to the ground slowly, blood pouring from the wound even as his conscious
mind registered the fact that there should be no blood, lasers cauterized their
wounds.
He began to run, dodging behind anything, everything, to make sure
Killbane couldn't hit him again. He heard the laugh again, and looked up.
Killbane was floating in the air, holding Goose squarely in his sights.
"The game ends here, Runt!" Killbane said, and Goose saw the
energy beam build up in the laser, come pouring out, and felt himself being cut
open by the incredible heat of the weapon.
********
Waking with a cry, Goose sat up in
bed. Beside him, Niko woke too, sitting up, she pushed a mass of hair from her
eyes.
"Shane, what's wrong?"
He was panting with exertion, sweat pouring from him in sheets. He felt
his arm, to make sure it wasn't still a dream - but no, the limb felt solid
beneath his fingers, no trace of damage from any weapon.
"Shane?" Niko asked again, putting a hand on his shoulder.
He turned to look at her, seeing how the moonlight flowing through
the light gauze curtains played along her nude body, creating shadows and dips,
which shifted with every breath.
"Niko, I -" He stopped, then stood up and walked, nude, to
the balcony. He slid open the light fly screen door and stepped into the cool
summer night. Feeling a slight chill as the sweat rapidly cooled on him to an
almost clammy feeling.
Niko glanced at the time, 02:24. It had been a strenuous mission they
had come back from, rounding up a group of the Black Hole Gang who had been
raiding settlements in an asteroid field for supplied while they tried to
rebuild their shattered group after MacCross's dramatic and very public fall
from grace at the reformed Daisy O'Mega's hand.
She had seen some things she didn't want to see - people torn apart
by the Gang's weapons, and in some cases, by their bare hands. Without strong
leadership, the remnants of that gang had become little more than rabid animals.
She stood, and walked out to the balcony, where Shane was standing vigil.
"What's wrong, Shane?"
He took in a deep breath of the cool night air. Could he tell her,
should he? He was a supertrooper, damn it. He shouldn't be concerned about a bad
dream. Even if it was as realistic as that one had been. He decided that part of
the truth wouldn't hurt. Turning, he cupped her cheek and gave her a loving and
gentle kiss. "It was nothing, babe. Just a bad dream. I'll be fine."
Niko put her arm around his waist and hugged him, as they watched the
near full moon illuminating the huge lake that surrounded BETA Mountain. The
Mountain still carried the recent scars of Killbane's recent attack, which had
thankfully been fully repelled with surprisingly minimal damage. The moonlight
was bright enough for them to see the tiny shapes of small watercraft drifting
across the lake as they laid a new network of super conducting cable. Part of
Commander Walsh's plan to make the lake even more effective as part of the
mountain's defense system.
Niko realized that although she now owned Shane's heart, his mind was
still his own, and he would be very reticent in releasing all his innermost
secrets to her, if ever. She accepted that, but still was concerned over this
latest dream. He would never admit it, but she knew when he had a bad dream. The
telepathic link they shared had enabled her to keep a very light tendril in his
mind, so she could not only keep tabs on him when they were separated, but also
alerted her highly trained senses when his mind was disturbed. And even though
he tried to hide it, she knew this was only the latest of a series of dreams
that had disturbed her lover.
She decided that enough was enough. She let go of him and stood back,
leaning against the balcony doorframe. Shane glanced at her as a slight breeze
came up and wisped her hair into a halo around her body when the moonlight
caught the individual strands and gave each one a tiny glimmer of light.
"Shane, you've been having bad dreams for two weeks now. I know you
don't want to talk about them, but when you're hurting, I hurt too. I know when
you have a nightmare, and I want to help. Please, may I?"
He turned to face her, then leaned against the balcony railing.
"Babe, I don't want you to be involved. It's nothing, really."
She threw her head back to clear her vision, then brushed her hair
out of the way with an idle hand. "Shane, it's not nothing when you wake up
in a cold sweat crying out in the middle of the night."
He spread his hands helplessly. "I'm not supposed to have bad
dreams, Niko. I don't even have good dreams. I don't have dreams, at least
that's what N'Gata said. My brain was set up to be different enough that it
didn't need REM sleep."
"And what do you think, Shane?" Niko asked, softly.
"Do you dream?"
He nodded. "Yeah, I do, lately, the ones I remember have been
about you." He smiled in fond recollection of the faint aethereal dream
wisps that still swarmed around his conscious mind.
"So," Niko added, "Do you like those dreams?"
He nodded, smiling slightly. "Do you like the bad ones?"
Shane's eyes narrowed. "Of course not. But, I shouldn't be
having them. I'm a supertrooper, dammit. I'm not supposed to be effected by
normal human weaknesses."
"You're in love ..." Niko said softly.
Shane moved to her, wrapping her in his warm, strong arms.
"That's not a weakness, babe. That's perfection, so are you."
Niko smiled into his chest, drawing strength from his warmth and
firm, muscular body. But she wouldn't let him deter her from her mission.
"Goose, let me help you with these dreams." She said, turning
so that his arms wrapped around her, under her breasts, and her back was pressed
against his front. Together, they gazed out on the moonlit sky in silence again.
"What will you do?" He asked after a while.
"We'll do it together, Goose." She replied. "We'll hunt
out the bad dreams, confront them, and turn them into the wisps of nothing that
you know them to be. No matter how powerful or disturbing a dream is ... it's
just that - only a dream." She felt his arms tighten for a few seconds,
then he relaxed again, and nuzzled the back of her neck.
She sighed, and relaxed into his caresses for a time. "Goose, if we
don't stop now ... we won't want to stop." She said after a long while.
"Do we want to stop?" His voice came, muffled by her hair.
She laughed softly. "Shane Gooseman, you have an amazing ability
to change subjects very smoothly, mister."
She laughed louder when he hoisted her in his arms, and stepping back
through the balcony doors, both of them got entangled in the gauze curtains.
Giggling like an idiot, she pulled and pushed the curtains away as Shane
stoically stood, like a statue, until the path was clear, then he gently laid
her on the bed and lay down beside her.
"Shane, what about-" He stopped her with a finger to her
lips. "Let's talk later, babe." he said with a slight smile. She
acquiesced, and they rolled together, for warmth and other comfort.
********
Later, after their lovemaking, Shane lay awake, watching the soft night
breeze fluttering through the thin curtains. Niko lay beside him, curled up,
with an arm across his chest, and her leg covering his own.
He watched her sleep for a bit, thinking how incredibly lucky he was
to have her. Before they had finally made a play for each other, he knew of at
least eight other rangers who had been actively pursuing Niko for a
relationship. Looking into himself, Shane thought about the only other time he'd
felt like this for somebody, Back at Wolf Den, he'd felt this way about Darkstar.
But couldn't tell her. So she'd left with Stingray during the mass breakout.
Shane sighed softly, and looked at Niko again. Sleeping softly, like
a baby. She was a pleasure to hold, and he knew he gave her so much pleasure,
not only when they were making love, but just because she knew he cared about
her. He glanced at the chrono - 03:32. About an hour since he'd woken up. He
leaned back, put a hand over Niko's, and soon fell back to sleep.
Only to wake up shortly thereafter on a cold sweat again. He looked
around his heart still hammering in his chest, and the adrenaline pumping
through him just like he was in full combat.
He went through the series of mental exercises Niko had taught him a
while back to help him deal with all the anger and frustration he still harbored
over his position and status within society and in regards to the Supertroopers
in general. Niko made a small noise, and Shane glanced at her. Her eyes were
open, glistening in the soft light as she watched him calm down.
"We've got to do something." She said, sitting up so she
was at the same level as him.
Shane nodded, and sighed. "What do we do?"
********
Niko finished lighting the scented candles, and returned to sit
cross-legged facing Shane. She wore a loose robe, only just tied around her
waist, and Shane wore a pair of shorts. "Give me your hands, Shane."
She said.
He held out his hands, and she turned them palm-outwards, then placed
her hands against them. "Push, not too much, just enough to make sure
you've got solid contact." She felt the pressure increase, and the warmth
increased in her palms.
"Now just relax, Goose. Breathe deeply, smell the oils, relax
your muscles. But don't go into a sleep state. Just relax."
Shane took a few deep breaths, and Niko could feel the psychic link
begin to expand as his brain began to settle down. She focused her own power,
and carefully walked through into his mind. `Shane, are you there?'
His thoughts came back rapidly. `Yes, what do we do now?'
'We go in search of your bad dreams. follow me.' She
visualized a long corridor, through which they both walked.
Goose looked around him - `Where are we?'
`Your mind, Goose. Seen through my mind's eye.' She stopped
at a very small door, barely large enough for them to go through.
`This is it, Shane. Are you ready?'
In answer, Shane boldly stepped forward and through the small
doorway. Niko followed him into a miasma of light, sound, and color.
Images assailed them from all sides, the doorway faded into nothingness -
Niko could bring it back when they were ready to return, but concerned with the
whirling maelstrom of images flowing like oil across the landscape of Shane's
sub-conscious mind.
"Shane, we need to go on. This is not the place of confrontation."
Niko reminded him.
Shane looked at the scene with glazed eyes, he had no idea his mind
was racing with all this information ... Supertroopers ... Wolf Den ... Max, and
his son ...Commander Walsh and Owen N'Gata ... MacCross ... The Queen ... Daisy
... The other Rangers ... Niko ... her images came unbidden to the forefront,
and Shane watched as the scenes unfolded once again.
He stopped when Niko came up and physically touched him. "Come
on, we have to go deeper." She reminded him. He nodded, and they walked
into the whirling maelstrom.
Deeper into the whirling storm of images. As they progressed further and
further, the images became darker, more ominous. Scenes of Shane fighting
various outlaws, mixed with scenes of Shane while at Wolf Den, fighting with and
against the other Supertroopers flashed by, faster than they could catch them.
But the could both see that Ryker Killbane's image kept coming up more
and more, as they progressed deeper into the swirling image storm that was
Shane's sub-conscious. Finally, they came to another door, this one was marked
with various hand-written signs, in a child's handwriting:
`keep away'...`do not enter'... `go back'... and so forth.
Shane held back, and Niko took his hand. `Shane, look at me.' He
turned to face her.
`Nothing can hurt you here. I won't let it.
This is a journey of discovery. We need to find out why you are being haunted by dreams - this is the only way, and the
answers lie ... in there.'
He took a deep breath, all his bravado and strength gone, he seemed
like a scared little boy, not the Supertrooper she knew and loved. This was a
side of him she didn't like to see, but she knew that if they were to stop the
dreams, they had to go on. She would be his strength if need be.
Shane stepped forward, and opened the door. Stepping through, with
Niko by his side, they saw a small child, sitting alone in a large, dark room.
The child looked very sad, and looked up as they approached.
`Who are you?' He asked.
`We're friends.' Niko replied, Shane seemed unable to.
`I ... know you.' The child continued, looking from Niko to
Shane, then back to Niko.
She nodded. `Yes, you do.' She glance around at the empty,
dark room. They could hear the faint signs of other children, playing and
roughhousing somewhere, but not here.
`Why are you here?' She asked, `Why aren't you playing with the other children?'
`I'm not allowed. I'm different.' The child replied sadly.
Niko glanced at Shane, he seemed to be in a different world, not
willing or able to reply. That would come later, once they figured out the
problem, she mused. `Who are you?' She finally asked.
`I'm ... Shane ... Gooseman ... A Supertrooper!' The boy said
finally, with some pride in his voice.
`Are you?' Niko said brightly.
He nodded proudly. `I'm going to be the best there is. Better than the others, better than Ryker!'
`Who's Ryker?' Niko prodded.
`You know who he is.' The boy replied, looking at Niko slyly
- so much like the older Shane, she thought.
`Where is he?' Niko asked.
`He's not here.' The boy said with a sigh.
`Are you afraid of him?' Shane suddenly asked.
The boy looked at him, as if seeing him for the first time. `You're
me!'
The boy cried, looking at Shane in some surprise.
Shane nodded, his voice and some courage returned. `Yes, I am.'
`I don't like Ryker. He's mean to me. He thinks that just because he's older he can push me around.'
Niko began to feel a tendril of something, something uncertain,
between her and Shane.
`Ryker's not so tough, kid.' Shane replied. `He's all tough on the outside because that's what he's supposed to be. Inside, he's
just like you, scared, alone. He doesn't have a family. You do, you've got Max, and Joseph Walsh. Ryker's got nobody.'
Niko looked surprised. She never knew Shane could have as much
insight as he was demonstrating now.
`But he's bigger than me..' The boy said, his face crinkling
up in remembered bullying.
`Yes, but you don't have to fight him, do you?' Niko replied,
looking at Shane.
He knelt by the younger version of himself. `She's right. Remember this, You can think and fight, Ryker can fight .. but he can't think. He's tough, strong, but you can think
up plans and get around him while he's still swinging. While he's trying to pound you with force, you can fight back and defeat
him, with thought.'
A door slammed open somewhere, and they heard a laugh. both Shanes
reacted differently - the younger one shivered in fear, while the older one
stiffened, and stood to his full height and looked around warily.
A voice came out of the darkness. `Where are you, runt? Ryker
wants to play!'
Niko felt the tendril of uncertainly that was her gauge grow into a
sharp spike of frustration, anger, and unresolved conflict. As footsteps
sounded, getting closer, Niko moved to the older Shane, and placed her hand on
his arm. `It is now time for conflict and confrontation, Shane. Use your own
advice to your younger self. You have to defeat him here, before you can really
defeat him out there.'
Shane nodded, then another door slammed open, and Killbane, the
modified Killbane of only a few months past, walked into the room.
The room faded, to become a plain of combat; dry, rolling grass,
under a blue sky, with a bright yellow sun. Niko looked at Shane, and realized
what was going on, finally.
He was smaller, much more like the child they had conversed with.
Against Killbane, he looked like a mouse against an elephant. Killbane laughed
and swung his massive fist. Shane ducked, and rolled, dodging the fist and
rolling between Killbane's widespread legs. As he passed, he struck, causing
Killbane to howl in agony and keel over.
Getting to his feet, Shane looked a bit larger, while Killbane seemed
slightly smaller. Shane ran at Killbane and leapt, pushing off Killbane's
shoulder, he leaped over the larger man, and with another kick, threw Killbane
onto his back. Again, the sizes altered. Shane growing larger, while Killbane
shrunk a bit more.
Niko watched the battle with a concerned frown etched on her features.
She knew that Shane had to win this battle if he was to be able to properly
confront Ryker Killbane in the real world, and it looked good. From the
beginning, because this was Shane's mind, he knew the rules, and Killbane was
just a lumbering ox.
The battle continued. Killbane landed a few good hits, which caused the
sizes to reverse, but Shane continued to use his mind, to look for an opening
and exploit it. The battle continued for some time, but Shane got the upper
hand, and the sizes continued to reverse until both men were equal in height and
stature. With a final blow, Killbane was thrown away, and vanished with an
audible pop.
Niko felt the link relax, and the level of stress faded to nothing.
She knew the battle within Shane's mind was over. He was victorious over
Killbane here, so now he could finally best him in the real world. Shane walked
back to where Niko stood, and she took his hands in her own.
`It's over, Shane. You've won. Now we can return.'
He nodded, she saw a glimmer in his eye that made her feel warm all
over - he was actually proud of himself, she could see the pride in the way his
internal persona stood and acted.
Niko guided Shane back out of this deep psychic level and soon, they
were back, sitting facing one another, pressing palms and recovering from the
psychic battlefield.
********
She glanced around, the candles had burnt out, and the faint glimmer
of morning was playing around the eastern sky.
Standing, she padded over to the comm. system, and put in a call to
Walsh's office. She hung up as Shane walked out of the living room.
"Who was that?" He asked.
"Oh, nothing. I just made sure we won't be disturbed. We both
need a good night's sleep, Goose."
They settled down on the bed, snuggled close, and soon both fell asleep.
For Niko, it was a good restful slumber, for Goose, it was the first sleep in a
long time during which he was really able to relax.
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