Chrysalis
Book One: Trial by Fire
By: Jessica "Allronix" Krucek

Chapter Eight

  Ariel's eyes burnt with unshed tears, and her stomach was tied in knots. *Ever since you got here, you've been acting like you want to kill yourself out of grief. Why can't you find it in you to live?*

  "The fever is worse. At least she doesn't have pneumonia." Kahlen was exhausted and amazed. "Gods, we're lucky that the sentry saw her staggering about. She would have bed dead by morning."

  Ariel wrung her hands in worry. "I should of sensed it, Kahlen. I knew she was bonded on some level or another to her friends. She told me that they were gone...I guess she wanted to join them." Ariel didn't dare try to send a thought to Niko. Last time she tried, the poor girl failed to recognize her. All she got was an insane whirlwind, survivor's guilt being a prominent emotion.

  To make matters worse, it was as if Niko's mind was one, raw and painful wound, with shards of glass for shields. Ariel tried not to think of how she'd found the girl, cowering and cold next to the bodies of her parents, trapped in a pile of rubble that had once been the family's home.

  "The good news," said Kahlen. "If you can call it such, is that a good part of her is determined to live. She'll definitely make a full physical recovery."

  The door creaked open, admitting D'Len once more. The rarely-seen sorceress was known for never showing worry or fear, but the look on her face at the moment showed a great deal of both.

  "Mistress D'Len," Kahlen stood, almost at attention.

  She spoke directly to Ariel. "Ariel, child. Your student - will she be all right?"

  "The fever's gone down a little, but it hasn't broken," Ariel said.

  "But," warned Kahlen. "Everyone MUST be fully shielded before coming into contact with her. Any kind of mental contact could be fatal at this stage."

  "I understand," D'Len. "I came here to inform you both that when she does awaken, I will help her rehabilitation myself."

  Ariel was somewhat puzzled, and mildly affronted. D'Len was the most ancient of the Circle members, but Ariel had trained Niko since childhood. "She is my pupil, Mistress. I know her gifts better than anyone."

  "Ariel Dal'Elspeth," admonished D'Len. "This is not a time to question. Your pupil is deathly ill. You will certainly help, but what has been done to Niko is very old sorcery, and beyond what you've encountered."

  "Yes," Ariel said reluctantly. "It would appear that way. What did this to her, Mistress D'Len?"

  "Even I don't know," D'Len said flatly. "But I have my suspicions."

  "Suspicions?" Ariel looked up from Niko for a moment.

  But D'Len was already gone. Kahlen had left with her. Ariel looked down at her unconscious student. "Oh, Niko dear, just *what* have you run into that has the Circle Elder so upset? You always wanted to travel on your own, but look what it has done to you."

  She looked up at the door Kahlen and D'Len had vanished behind. "Something's very wrong here."

********

  Again, awakening...again remembering...and the awful pain.

  The memories were a little clearer. she remembered Doc stuffing her into the shuttle, and starting the countdown. Just when he was so close to escaping himself, he was hit. He'd done it to save her. If he left her behind, then he would have gotten away...She didn't have the strength. She couldn't save him...she couldn't save any of them... She lay limply back against the pillows, and let the tears flow down her cheeks.

  *I've let them die...No, worse than death...* she thought. *Oh, Gods...The Queen.*

  "Doc..." she sobbed. "I'm so sorry..."

  She heard someone calling her name, ordering her to wake up. A gray-eyed face stared into her own. Hands steadied her shoulders.

  "Niko, dear, *please* tell me what happened..." the voice begged her.

  She looked at the face without recognition, lost in haunting memories.

  The familiar voice jarred her out of her disorientation. "Niko, dear. Please, it's Ariel. You're going to be all right."

  "Ariel?" She frowned. "How? Where am I?"

  "You're on Xanadau," Ariel said, smoothing a lock of hair away from Niko's cheek. "You're safe."

  "Oh, Ariel, it was awful. The Queen...I had to leave Doc behind...I let Shane get put in...and Zachary..." Her words didn't make coherent sense, but neither did much at the moment.

  Ariel gathered Niko up in her arms and let her cry herself out against her shoulder, doing her best to comfort the distraught young woman. "It's all right, child. You're safe. Your shuttle came here, and you're all right."

  "But, the team... they're NOT all right..."

  "Your friends?" Ariel asked.

  Niko nodded against Ariel's shoulder. "Oh, Gods. Doc and I made it to the shuttle bay, but he got hit with a stun blast. I couldn't drag him aboard the shuttle." She couldn't say anything past that.

  "It's all right, dear," Ariel said. "You can rest."

  "I can't... I have to go back and rescue them from the Queen!" Niko protested, and made another move to get up.

  "You're injured, Niko. You are staying here until you are well," Ariel said sternly. "If you left now, you wouldn't even make it out the door before you fell flat on your face." Ariel told her flat-out.

  "I just can't leave them..." Niko tried to protest.

  "Niko, you won't do them OR yourself any good if you try and rescue them now," Ariel tried to reason with her.

  Niko sighed, realizing that Ariel was not going to let her even think about it at the moment. She relaxed a little. "I feel awful."

  "My dear, if 'awful' is the worst you feel right now, then you ought to be grateful," Ariel told her with a wry smile. She helped Niko lay back against the pillows, and said, "From what the healers tell me, you are even lucky to be alive."

  Niko's eyes teared up again, "Lucky? no.... I don't think so, Ariel. The Queen...I don't know why. She just kept battering and battering...Don't know why..." she corrected herself. "No, I know why..." Tears flowed freely down Niko's cheeks as she recalled the mental games the Queen had played with her...

  "Child, why? What is it?"

  Niko swallowed. "The Queen...The team and I...We were captured." The red-haired woman frowned. "The old witch just wanted to make us suffer, that's all. She...Gods, Ariel. She's like one of us...Energy control, Thought-Sense, Farseeing...Only, she draws her strength by creating pain."

  Ariel tried to comfort her, but didn't know what to say.

  The healer, Kahlen arrived finally and Ariel motioned for her to come into the room.

  She looked back at Niko and said, "You need your rest, child."

********
  After a few days, Niko's fever broke, though portions of her mind still felt like broken glass. Kahlen had advised her to stay abed for a couple more days, despite all Niko's protests to the contrary.

  One afternoon, she was blearing awake from a bored nap to hear voices outside her room. Kahlen, and someone else. Niko couldn't sense anything, nor did she want to try. Concentrating on the voice, she tried to think of where she heard it before.

  The door creaked open, ad admitting a tall woman with lavender skin and garnet eyes. Niko shivered and drew back for a moment until she realized that this woman wasn't her attacker, but rather another of the same species. The tall, ancient woman drew up a chair and sat down. Niko marveled at the grace with which she carried herself, a grace that would have the best ballet dancers green with envy.

  "Hello, Niko," the woman said gently. "You may not remember, but I am Mistress D'Len."

  "As in the Master Sorceress D'Len? Why are you here? Ariel told me you never left the Old Castle...that you were there to protect artifacts."

  "Lannon is doing that job for me right now," she said with a gentle smile. "But I'm glad to see you're awake."

  "I don't know if I am," muttered Niko honestly.

  D'Len nodded. "Yes, I know of your loss."

  "It's not helping that everything, body and mind alike, feel like they're burning all the time. It just won't stop."

  "You are injured on many levels, Niko. Which is why Ariel agreed to let me help you. Already, I've done what I can for you in healing-trance."

  Niko closed her eyes and did an internal search. "It's like a lot of me's been amputated. I can't sense anything."

  "That's to prevent you from hurting yourself or other people with a Gift gone out of control."

  "I need to leave. The shuttle?"

  "Was destroyed in the landing. I'm afraid that you have no way off Xanadau. In light of your injuries, the Council agreed with me to keep you here."

  "Mistress," she said hoarsely. "I was carrying something, I think. A large red crystal...with a human face inside it if you held it to light...Where is it? I need to know..."

  D'Len nodded solemnly. "Yes, you did bring some sort of artifact. A red shard of crystal." The healer's voice was quiet. "But I'm afraid that it shattered when the shuttle crashed."

  Niko's face registered shock, then the worst pain. All warmth drained from her. Everything was thrown into the chaos again.

  D'Len gently brushed Niko's face. "I am sorry."

  Niko's eyes closed, and hopeless tears streamed down her face. "The crystal...he's gone. Oh, Shane...I couldn't..."

  A dry cloth wiping the tears. "Survivors have a unique pain, Niko. He, and your other friends, are now one with the universe. They are, and always will be, part of your spirit."

  "The pain won't stop, Mistress."

  D'Len gave no answer. There was a long pause, as neither wanted to talk anymore. The old sorceress only watched in silence. Niko's body shook with sobs, but there was no sound. No sound at all.

  After what seemed like forever, D'Len touched Niko's forehead. "You are a twice-over survivor, Niko Dal'Ariel. You need to heal."

  "My people...the humans..."

  "This is your home, Niko, and we are your people," D'Len said firmly before walking out the door, and closing it behind her.

  All Niko could do was allow herself to mourn.

********
  With the help of Kahlen, D'Len, Ariel, and a bevy of other healers, Niko managed to gain her physical strength rapidly. She still wasn't fully healed, though. Angry welts and burns still ached from the torture session she had at the Queen's palace, but that wasn't what ached the most. Her mind felt like it was in shreds, and her spirit still ached with terrible loss.

  D'Len moved her to a chamber of the Old Palace, and drilled her on shielding day and night. Niko's shields were toughened to the point where she couldn't sense anything. In a way, it was like being locked up all over again. At least it didn't hurt.

  Within a couple of days, Niko was driving herself to get up to walk. Soon, she had the strength to start running. Kahlen expressed concern at first, so the lessons and physical activity was kept fairly light until some of the nastier physical injuries healed, but the activity was enough to wear her out so badly that her rogue gifts couldn't cause trouble.

  For Niko, it was the same routine day after day. Stone walls surrounding her when she woke up, learning how to put up walls in her mind to the point where she was mind-blind. Lastly, she collapsed into a hard bed, and miserable, dreamless sleep. The only comfort she got was by running. Every chance she got, she would leave the Old Palace and just run as far and as fast as she could manage. Even that wasn't freedom, but it was the best she got.

********
  One night, Niko came to the Old Palace quite late. D'Len was scratching something down in a large leather book, and didn't look up as Niko came in.

  "You are late."

  "Yes, Mistress," Niko answered. "I'm afraid I was running too far."

  "You seem to be doing that a lot. Tell me why."

  Niko was taken aback. She thought a moment. "I don't know. I just...it's like I have to run, to get out of all this."

  "You mean," D'Len was looking up at her with sharp garnet eyes. "You want to run far from here. Part of you still wants to dash into oblivion with your friends. I'll have none of it, Niko."

  Now, she was frustrated. "My mind's blocked. I'm cooped up in here all day. If you let me have spare time, why shouldn't I be able to run?"

  "Your mind is blocked for a reason. You're dangerous, Niko, and danger must be caged until the danger has passed."

  "And when will that be? A month? A year?"

  "The blocks will be removed when I feel it safe to let them down," D'Len said harshly.

  Niko had a sharp comment on the tip of her tongue, but D'Len had pulled herself to full height. "You will stay here and spend the entire day to help me with the library. That ought to take your mind off running for a while."

  "Mistress," Niko was starting to seethe.

  D'Len came over and patted Niko on the shoulder. "Kahlen told you about the river. I don't want you to start dashing off like that. Grief is still too strong in you."

  "I lost three people very dear to me. Why shouldn't I be grieving?"

  "I can block your memories. You'll forget them."

  Niko winced at the very thought. "No."

  "The Circle did that to you when you first came here, you know," said D'Len. "When you were just a little girl..."

  "I'm not a little girl anymore, D'Len," Niko said. "And I don't want to forget. I just want to leave Xanadau."

  "And go where?" said D'Len.

  "Earth, back to BETA," said Niko. "They're in danger."

  "Does your Gifts tell you this?"

  "No, common sense. When I was imprisoned, I heard things about an invasion. My people will die if -"

  "We, on Xanadau, are your people, Niko. You renounce ties like that when you come here."

  "I wasn't old enough to know what I was giving up," Niko snapped. "Is this how you and the other Circle Members keep everyone else here?"

  D'Len held her ground. "No, because unlike you, they don't stray too far or get attached to the outside. Whatever goes on past this planet is transitory, and not our concern."

  "Maybe it should be," Niko said. "Now, do you have anything else for me to do?"

  D'Len thought for a few seconds. "I don't believe so."

  Niko nodded and left the room. She trudged up the stairs to her chamber, closing the door behind her. The Circle had approved her tour of duty as a Ranger, but no doubt they only expected her to serve a term, then gracefully quit and return to the Motherworld. Everything was to be here. Spending your life off-world...

  Could she think of anyone else who had done so? Sure, there were sabbaticals - two years off to study other places, to travel. Counting her years at the Academy, Niko had been living outside the Circle for almost six years.

  *A Circle incomplete...* she thought, recalling something Ariel had once told her, *Always seeks to complete itself.*

  Stone, cold stone, were the walls and floor and ceiling. One window, and a bed. Everything always felt oppressive here. Was it possible that she had just traded one prison for another? Or was it just some sort of latent death-wish asserting itself?

  *D'Len's right. I am dangerous, but what's the real danger?*

  She sat on the edge of the bed and stared out the window.

********
  The door to the Old Palace creaked open, and Ariel walked in. One thing she had passed to her adopted daughter was a sense of bravery. Not much intimidated the mage, and she had no intentions to let much do so. She closed the door behind her and climbed the stairs to the study. Opening the door, and walking in, Ariel walked right up to the desk.

  "Good evening, D'Len."

  D'Len looked up. "Ariel Dal'Elspeth, you know that the Old Palace..."

  "Nothing ever said it was off-limits, D'Len. Normally, no one has any business in coming."

  "What brings you here, Ariel?"

  "It should be very obvious. I want to speak to Niko. It's been almost two weeks. I've even tried to mind-touch her, but the blocks are too great."

  "The blocks are for her safety, and everyone else's."

  "D'Len, the kind of shields you have on her are so thick that even I wouldn't be able to summon my Gifts through them. Niko needs to be trained with her Gifts, not have them amputated."

  "And who are you to tell me how to teach a student?"

  "I'm the person who's trained her all her life. I'm the person who knows her best on this planet, and for all intents and purposes, I'm also her mother."

  D'Len was not amused. "I can see where Niko has developed her lack of respect."

  "I taught her to think for herself," Ariel said. "And to question the things she's been told. If nothing else, I'm proud of her for that."

  "Didn't Elspeth teach you reverence?"

  "Elspeth taught me a great many things, but I'm afraid I was too old a bird when the Circle found me."

  "We've taken older," said D'Len dismissively.

  "Still, when you have people swear off their ties, most of them are too young to know what they were swearing away. At least I knew what I had given up. It's a fair trade to me, but to my student, it might not be anymore."

  "Her love of machines...of war..."

  "Niko does have an affinity for technology, true," Ariel countered. "But without it, you'd still be part of the MegaMind. For that matter, her friend helped to save your life. If she chooses not to forget him, then it's her own business."

  "But can't she be content with sabbaticals?"

  Ariel pushed up her glasses. "D'Len, she's seen more than Xanadau. You and the Circle have, over the generations, become even more xenophobic. Hardly anyone ventures past the colonies. Quite sad, really."

  "Even you, Ariel, are no exception to that."

  "It's because I see no reason to. When Elspeth found me, I was already a well-traveled and well-educated widow. It was time for me to move on. I'd never had a child, though, so finding Niko was quite the blessing." She cleared her throat. "Now, where is she? You won't let her go see me, so I came to see her."

  "She is resting."

  "Never mind," said Ariel. "I'll go and find her myself." Ariel turned and left abruptly.

********
  Ariel wandered around the palace until she found a slightly ajar door, and walked in. She found Niko sitting on the bed, staring out a window.

  "It's still a cage," Niko said to no one in particular. "And I don't know what's worse, having everything burning, or being sealed up in the cold."

  "Niko?" asked Ariel. "Is it safe to come in all the way?"

  Niko brightened and sprung to her feet, she walked over to her mentor and gave her a great big hug. "Oh, Ariel. I was wondering when D'Len would let you come see me."

  "I'm afraid I invited myself, Niko dear."

  "What? Oh."

  "I don't like this. In all my years on this planet, I've never run across someone as secretive, or as tight-fisted as D'Len. I think it's product of spending so much of her time locked up in this miserable place."

  "I know what you mean," said Niko. "Everything feel like a prison, and she doesn't like it when I leave here."

  "Odd," grumbled Ariel. "I've NEVER heard of a mentor putting restrictions on their students like that."

  "Ariel," Niko said. "There is something wrong. D'Len is teaching me all of the shields, and no control exercises. They're too strong to let down now, and even if I did, I'd be just as bad as when I awoke. It just doesn't...feel right."

  "No control exercises? Does she have you using your Gifts at all?"

  "She won't even let me try to do something other than shielding. It's as if she doesn't *want* me to regain my Gifts."

  "I know," Ariel said. "She is definitely hiding something."

  "But what? And why?"

  "That's something I'm afraid you'll have to find out on your own. You're more the detective than I am, Niko dear."

  Niko smiled wryly. "I'll see what I can find out."

  She stood and hugged Ariel good-bye, suddenly feeling more hope - and more determination than she had ever since arriving.

______________________________________________________

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